That’s a perfectly good egg
‘That’s a perfectly good egg that could have been thrown at the King.’
Wilbur
Friday
Tuesday
Train strikes could ruin xmas
‘Bah! We wanted to do that.’
Wednesday
Stuff of mythology
‘I thought they were the stuff of mythology too, but apparently there are people who like Matt Hancock.’
Thursday
The cat’s dragged in an injured bird
‘The cat’s dragged in an injured bird.’
Thursday
All the gay footballers should boycott the World Cup!
‘All the gay footballers should boycott the World Cup!’
Since I stung Matt Hancock
‘Since I stung Matt Hancock the phone has not stopped ringing.’
Thursday
Our first date
‘You’re seriously suggesting a walk in the park for our first date?’
Thursday
Qatar will need 10,000 litres of water
Our asylum system is broken
‘Well, the lunatics are running it.’
Thursday
Latest Tory leadership election
Efficiency savings
‘That’s one area they could make some efficiency savings…’
Thursday
All we have to do is reverse everything
‘All we have to do is reverse everything.’
Thursday
Now I’ll have a look at your home…
‘Your insulation is excellent. Now I’ll have a look at your home…’
Thursday
You might be better waiting for the next one
‘You might be better waiting for the next one.’
Thursday
Let’s enjoy our honeymoon period
‘Anyway, let’s enjoy our honeymoon period.’
I think I’ve found the pound
‘I think I’ve found the pound.’
Thursday
First for the chop
‘Are the royal pen-makers first for the chop, perchance?'
There was something a little bit archaic about the whole institution
‘I ventured to suggest that there was something a little bit archaic about the whole institution.’