I think I’ll just get a dog.
‘I think I’ll just get a dog.’
Wilbur
Wednesday
We’ve been hit by a Trump tariff
‘We’ve been hit by a Trump tariff.’
We’re living in the best of times
‘We’re living in the best of times.’
Wednesday
I may have accidentally added someone to the group chat
‘I may have accidentally added someone to the group chat.’
You haven’t seen Adolescence?
‘You haven’t seen Adolescence?!’
Wednesday
Scatter cushions
‘Ugh! Scatter cushions.’
Wednesday
Can I be excused?
‘Can I be excused on the grounds of mental health?’
Wednesday
Death class
Death class
Am I hitting my diversity targets?
‘Am I hitting my diversity targets?’
You’re watching chess?
Wednesday
Expecting you
‘I’ve been expecting you, Mr Bond’
DEI measures
‘I think we should get rid of our DEI measures.’
I can’t wait
‘I can’t wait to go outside to see if the humans have obliterated themselves.’
Wednesday
I prefer the British approach
‘I prefer the British approach of breaking things slowly.’
I have a large collection of action figures and model cars
‘If you want a toy boy, I have a large collection of action figures and model cars.’
It’s quite crowded in here
‘It’s quite crowded in here.’
Wednesday
Roses are red
‘Roses are red, violets are blue, I can simulate loving you.’
