Tim Bales

‘I love it here. Birmingham is the tops.’

Writer’s block

‘Apparently it doesn’t provide any get out for Keir.’

‘Can you recommend a country where tourists are still welcome?’

‘I hadn’t planned to do Dry January. It just worked out that way.’

‘Oh hell, it’s already falling apart!’

‘I based it on Rachel Reeves, since she scares the hell out of me.’

‘One day, son, none of this family farm will be yours.’

‘It’s galling. Rachel Reeves discovers all these black holes and I’ve never found one.’

‘It’ll be the players next.’

‘We never say that at the W.I.’

‘Will the new Conservative leader ever arrive?’