Titian
The Spectator
Thursday
Burglar
Ambulance
‘Certainly madam – and would you like the ambulance in medium, large or extra large?’
Bake Off
Teddy
‘OK, chaps, once we’re out of the tunnel we’ll use these wildlife costumes to blend into the surrounding countryside.’
Cryer
‘And now over to the news from your area.’
Hamza
Sober
‘That’s Jack, that’s Gracie, that’s er ... damn, it’s so hard to remember their names when you’re sober.’
Capitalism
‘There are times I regret we ever embraced capitalism.’
Letters | 11 October 2012
The views of Sentamu Sir: I wonder if Archbishop Sentamu is really the best candidate for Canterbury as you suggest (Leading article, 6 October). Cutting up his dog collar on live television in protest against President Mugabe was a splendid gesture; but how exactly has it helped anyone in Zimbabwe? He is wrong in any
Portrait of the week | 11 October 2012
Home ‘Unless we take difficult, painful decisions,’ David Cameron, the Prime Minister, told the Conservative party conference, ‘Britain may not be in the future what it has been in the past.’ He said that it was ‘an hour of reckoning for countries like ours. Sink or swim, do or decline.’ Earlier he had said that
Fringe benefits
The Tory party conference this year was a remarkable success, a festival of conservatism with an impressive array of radical ideas on display. But almost all of them could be found in fringe events, and pitifully few in the hall of the conference. Even Cabinet members complained that the main event lacked fizz. Discussion centred
Barometer | 11 October 2012
Matters of record German skydiver Felix Baumgartner attempted to become the first man to break the sound barrier outside an aircraft when he dropped from a balloon at 120,000 feet over Mexico, reaching 690mph 40 seconds later. Other feats still to be achieved: —Climbing Gangkhar Puensum in Bhutan, at 24,836 feet the highest mountain never climbed. But attempts have
Wednesday
Shelf Life: James Naughtie
James Naughtie explains why he’d give Scoop to a lover, confesses which books by another BBC luminary he does his best to avoid and finally reassures us, in case you were wondering, that he doesn’t fantasise about Lolita. He will be appearing at the Wimbledon Bookfest on 14th October to talk about his latest book,
Conservative conference: David Cameron’s speech, full text
In May 2010, this party stood on the threshold of power for the first time in more than a decade. We knew then that it was not just the ordinary duties of office that we were assuming. We were entering into Government at a grave moment in the modern history of Britain. At a time
Wednesday
Kitchen
‘Something went “ping”.’
Sponge
‘I don’t believe you’re genuinely looking for work. I think you’re just a sponge.’
