Walrus
‘Walrus!? Do you know just how many calories there are in that?

‘Walrus!? Do you know just how many calories there are in that?
Priest
‘Uh-oh.’
‘Not only have we reached a verdict, Your Honour, we’ve had some T-shirts made.’
‘We’re still working to find the best form of self-regulation.’
Wenceslas
The Seacole empire Education Secretary Michael Gove says he wants to rewrite the national curriculum in history to concentrate on figures such as Cromwell and Churchill instead of Mary Seacole. Some institutions which have been named after Seacole in recent years: — Mary Seacole House, ‘mental health drop-in centre primarily for black and ethnic communities
Caught in the ratchet Sir: Melissa Kite (‘Hunting for Dave’, 29 December) wonders why the Prime Minister won’t reopen the question of hunting. Is it not just possible that the reason given is the real reason — he knows he could not win a vote on it? There is no point in leading the troops
There is something about the dying embers of a year which causes the world to concentrate on entirely the wrong story. In the last days of 1999 many were fixated on the so-called ‘millennium bug’ rather than on the real computing crisis: the absurd over-valuations of internet companies which was soon to lead to stock
Home On the eve of a speech by David Cameron, the Prime Minister, on the EU, Andrew Duff MEP, the leader of the Union of European Federalists, suggested that Britain could be offered second-class ‘associate member’ status in the EU. ‘If the British cannot support the trend towards more integration in Europe,’ Jacques Delors, the
Justine Greening is a robust politician and bean counter who reportedly used extremely fruity language when told she was being reshuffled to the International Development Department. Even though the new Secretary of State has made a strong start in her role, announcing the end of Britain’s aid programme to India by 2015 and suspending bilateral
2012 has been a superb year: Spectator readers already know that after reading our leading article which detailed the evidence for 2012 being the greatest year in the history of the world. It has also been a busy year on Coffee House, and here are some of the highlights. Top ten most-read blogs: 1. ‘One
2012 is done. Here is the final selection (published in the magazine last month) of the Spectator’s best books of the year. Happy 2013. Susan Hill Spitalfields Life by The Gentle Author (Saltyard Books, £20). The writer started a daily blog about his life in Spitalfields — people, jobs, buildings, street life, monuments. A whole
Tristram Hunt paints a bleak picture of the state the Palace of Westminster is in for Spectator readers this week as he draws parallels between the crumbling parliament building in New Delhi and plans to renovate the Mother of Parliaments in London. The Labour MP and historian writes: In SW1, the situation is critical. Forget
‘I tumbled down a hill.’
Alice in Poundland
‘Ah, his first word.’
‘A wheel? You’ll be needing this...’
‘My train set was broken by Boxing Day.’