The Spectator

Thursday

The Spectator

What’s the most insulting thing a teacher said to you? A Spectator poll

From our UK edition

Matthew Parris  From the late Alan Lomberg, my English teacher at my school in Swaziland, in my school report: ‘I’m sure I have only slightly less high an opinion of Matthew’s literary abilities than he has himself.’ Sebastian Shakespeare The late Alan Clark once described me in his diaries as a ‘tricky little prick’, but he was beaten to the punch decades before by a teacher who dubbed me a ‘giant prick’. To this day I’m not sure which is the greater compliment or insult. Quentin Letts    The word that appeared in my school reports time and again was ‘facetious’. Facetious is a fine word, not least because it presents all five vowels in alphabetical order, but would a teacher nowadays dare use it of a pupil? I was an annoying child.

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School portraits: snapshots of four notable schools

From our UK edition

Ludgrove, Berkshire Ludgrove, which was founded in 1892 by the footballer Arthur Dunn, is a boarding prep school in Berkshire and has 130 acres for its pupils to learn, run around and play in. The school is one of the last preps to provide full boarding (which is fortnightly). At weekends, boys can use 11 football pitches, four tennis courts, two squash courts and a nine-hole golf course. It’s not just Prince William’s alma mater: other old boys include Alec Douglas--Home, Simon Sebag Montefiore and Bear Grylls (who opened the new Exploration Centre in June 2021). Most of the boys go on to Eton, Harrow, Radley or Winchester.

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Letters: Wokery is a form of dictatorship

From our UK edition

Democracy rules Sir: I share the sentiments of both Rod Liddle (‘Trump displays weakness, not strength’, 8 March) and Douglas Murray (‘How MAGA turned on Ukraine’). I am one of those peculiar political animals who finds himself in agreement with certain elements of the right, including those represented by Donald Trump, on just about everything except Ukraine. Nevertheless, I see his election as an essential antidote to the poisonous ideology of the woke that has all but conquered the rest of the West in terms of the manner in which we live and are governed. Nor is the US immune.

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2691: Very large fellow – solution

From our UK edition

Richard OSMAN (defined by the title) created 1/42/21, the members of which are 13/39, 18, 37/4 and Ron 29 with RON highlighted in the grid and referred to in the clue at 17 Down. First prize L. Coumbe, Benfleet, Essex Runners-up Angus Ross, Old Portsmouth, Hants  Joe O’Farrell, Leighlinbridge, Co.

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Portrait of the week: Spies in Norfolk, rats in Birmingham and Denmark ditches letter deliveries

From our UK edition

Home Three Bulgarians were found guilty of spying for Russia as part of a cell that plotted to kidnap and kill targets in Europe, under a fellow Bulgarian who lived in a former guest house in Great Yarmouth, Norfolk. The court heard that the spies reported to Austrian-born Jan Marsalek, who sought refuge in Moscow after the collapse in 2020 of Wirecard, the German payments company he helped run. Walgreens Boots Alliance, the US owner of Boots the chemist, was taken over by a private equity firm, Sycamore Partners. The government introduced the Planning and Infrastructure Bill, which will enable councils to seize land. The cost of a first-class stamp will go up 5p to £1.70 on 7 April.

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The West must not look away from what’s happening in Syria

From our UK edition

Tony Blair’s former spin doctor Alastair Campbell has many talents. But his understanding of Middle Eastern politics leaves much to be desired. Last month he welcomed Syria’s new leader Ahmed al-Sharaa on to the podcast he hosts with the former Conservative minister Rory Stewart. Reflecting on the encounter afterwards in a newspaper column, Campbell was anxious to give the ‘gently smiling President’ the benefit of the doubt. He was ‘definitely saying a lot of the right things’. There was, Campbell acknowledged – ‘one big blot on the Syrian landscape’ – the ubiquity of men smoking. But otherwise everything seemed in order. It was the case, he said, that ‘virtually everyone you meet says that they feel happier than they did under [Bashar al] Assad’.

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What music did our monarchs like?

From our UK edition

Royal warrant The King revealed that among his favourite pieces of music were the 1980s hits ‘Upside Down’ by Diana Ross and ‘The Loco-motion’ by Kylie Minogue. What music did other monarchs like? – Elizabeth II was reported to have been partial to ‘Cheek to Cheek’ by Fred Astaire, ‘The White Cliffs of Dover’ by Vera Lynn and ‘Sing’ by Gary Barlow and Andrew Lloyd Webber, written to celebrate her Diamond Jubilee. – George V attended a command performance by Louis Armstrong in 1932, hinting at a fondness for jazz. – Edward VII knighted Sir Edward Elgar. Avocado blight Alan Titchmarsh implored people to eat cornflakes for breakfast rather than avocado on toast, on account of the ecological damage wrought.

Thursday

The Spectator

Letters: Leave our soldiers alone

From our UK edition

Military farce Sir: Your leading article (‘The age of realism’, 1 March) argues that the government must invest in the UK’s ‘thinned-out infantry ranks’. This is certainly true, but it does pass over, in my view, the more fundamental issue of the broken recruitment system. My own application to join the Royal Air Force was rejected on the basis that my mother is Polish. Given that Poland is an ally, this seems a curious justification for disqualification. I was born and educated in London, my mother having moved to the UK with my English father 30 years ago. Clearly I am not a security threat, but because ‘computer says no’, I will never be able to enlist. It is, then, with amusement and some frustration that I often read of the ‘recruitment crisis’.

The Spectator

How many people live in leasehold properties?

From our UK edition

Back to the palace Donald Trump was invited for what will be his second state visit to the UK. Who else has been on more than one? – Olav V of Norway was entertained twice, in October 1962 and again in April 1988, although never at Buckingham Palace. On the first visit he was received at Holyrood Palace and the second Windsor Castle. – Margrethe II also undertook two state visits, in April 1974 and again in February 2000, both times to Windsor Castle. – Monarchs have an advantage as they tend to hang around for longer. Trump will be the first president to enjoy a second. Curiously, South Korea has had three state visits since 2004, but each with a different president. Low-flying planes How much low flying does the military undertake over the UK?

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2690: Resignation – solution

From our UK edition

The perimeter quotation reads, ‘I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member’. The unclued lights STRIP, FAN, BOOK, GROUCHO and YACHT can all be followed by the word ‘club’; GROUCHO Marx is the source of the quotation, which is from his resignation letter to a Hollywood club. First prize Donald Bain, Edinburgh Runners-up C.

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Portrait of the week: Zelensky at Sandringham, rail fare rise and Duchess of Sussex’s Chinese takeaways

From our UK edition

Home After the humiliation of President Volodymyr Zelensky of Ukraine in Washington, Sir Keir Starmer, the Prime Minister, quickly convened a meeting at Lancaster House with 17 European leaders, including Mr Zelensky, and Justin Trudeau, the Prime Minister of Canada. Sir Keir outlined a four-point plan to form a ‘coalition of the willing’ to defend a peace agreement and to keep military aid flowing to Ukraine. Britain gave Ukraine £1.6 billion of export finance to buy 5,000 air defence missiles, to be made by the French-owned company Thales in Belfast. Mr Zelensky requested an audience with the King, which was granted with the government’s approval, and went to Sandringham for tea before a blazing fire.

The Spectator

Trump has shifted the world in Putin’s favour

From our UK edition

The verbal pummelling of Volodymyr Zelensky in the White House last week was an ugly moment of bitter truth. We saw the West tearing itself apart thanks to Donald Trump’s vanity and J.D. Vance’s disdain for the Ukrainian leader. If there is anything positive to be taken from the uncomfortable spectacle, it is that Europe now understands it has to take its defence much more seriously. And it is a mercy that negotiations between Zelensky and Trump have not been derailed for good. The Ukrainian President spent the week doing what his US counterpart accused him of failing to do: thanking the US for military and other aid it has received since Russia’s full-scale invasion three years ago. Zelensky appears keen to return to the table to discuss a minerals deal.

Wednesday

Philip Hancock

Together

From our UK edition

at arm’s reach, side by side, more than twenty-five feet up our treble extension ladders, shuddered by artics and buses thundering up and down Newcastle Street. But Stanway won’t lend me his scraper. It would take seconds, less than a minute, to run it around the window frame where wood meets glass, scrape off the loose paint. But he’d prefer to see me edging back down, clinging on to the bowing side rails, hurrying back to our caravan on the waste ground, rummaging under the bench seats until I find mine that slipped from my overalls at breakfast, then bollocking me for losing time.

Friday

The Spectator

No peace at Trump-Zelensky talk

The much-awaited Oval Office meeting between President Donald Trump and Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky went off the rails Friday. What was expected to be the signing of a deal that granted the US privileged access to Ukrainian natural resources unraveled into a shouting match — as well as a masterclass in diplomatic self-immolation from the visiting Zelensky. At one point, Vice President J.D. Vance told a visibly cross Zelensky: “Mr. President, with respect, I think it’s disrespectful for you to come into the Oval Office to try to litigate this in front of the American media. Right now, you guys are going around and forcing conscripts to the front lines because you have manpower problems.

trump interview
The Spectator

The Spectator’s interview with President Trump: full transcript

The following is an edited transcript of Ben Domenech's exclusive sit-down with Donald Trump — the president's first magazine interview since his return to the Oval Office. The full article will be published in The Spectator’s April edition. You can also listen to it here: https://audioboom.com/posts/8662219-the-donald-trump-interview BEN DOMENECH: The change that you've done this time in terms of your approach... the speed is the only thing people in this town can talk about. They can't believe that you have put the fear of God into bureaucrats and Eurocrats so quickly. And I just wonder, what is it that you learned from the last time around that maybe factored into how rapidly you started moving when you got back in? PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP: So the last time...

Thursday

The Spectator

Letters: American support to Europe has come at a cost

From our UK edition

Rules Britannia Sir: Your rules for national survival in the realist world which we are now entering (‘Get real’, 22 February) make sense. However, they do not go far enough. Rule 1 (enhancing our military lethality) rightly identifies the need for better trained and equipped personnel, but it does not include the need to regain military mass in numbers of troops and battle-winning equipment. A fifth rule, covering the need to make durable alliances with friendly countries – essential for survival in a volatile multipolar world – could also usefully be added.

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Who’d be in the Jailhouse of Commons?

From our UK edition

Picking a pope To choose a new pope, 120 cardinals will be confined in the Vatican until they have reached a decision. To pick Pope Francis in 2013 took two days – but in November 1268, when cardinals gathered in the town of Viterbo to choose a successor to Clement IV, there was deadlock. Locals locked the cardinals in the episcopal palace and even removed the roof to speed them up. It still took until September 1271 to pick Teobaldo Visconti, who became Pope Gregory X. Jailhouse of Commons Ex-Labour MP Mike Amesbury was jailed for assault. In a House of Commons made up of MPs and former MPs jailed since 1945, who would form the government?

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Portrait of the week: Foreign aid cut, Pope in hospital and King pulls a pint

From our UK edition

Home Before flying to Washington, Sir Keir Starmer, the Prime Minister, said: ‘We have to be ready to play our role if a force is required in Ukraine once a peace agreement is reached.’ He told the Commons that Britain would raise defence spending to 2.5 per cent of national income by 2027, funded by cutting development aid from 0.5 per cent to 0.3 per cent of GDP. The government surplus for January, when much tax comes in, was £15.4 billion, the highest ever, but far below the £20.5 billion predicted by the Office for Budget Responsibility. Average household energy bills will rise from April by £111 to £1,849 a year. BMW said it was shelving reintroduction of electric vehicle production at its Oxford Mini plant. BP dropped its goal of cutting oil and gas production.

The Spectator

Keir Starmer’s welcome embrace of realism

From our UK edition

Sixty-five years ago, a British Prime Minister acknowledged that a new world order was coming to pass and that it was time to lay down a burden the country could, and should, no longer shoulder. Harold Macmillan’s ‘wind of change’ speech in Cape Town signalled the eclipse of empire, the retreat of Britain from imperial pretensions and a new age of nationalism in Africa. Today, our own Prime Minister has trimmed his sails to catch a very different wind of change. He is navigating a new path – necessitated by the impact of Storm Donald from across the Atlantic. Sir Keir Starmer has indicated that Britain is willing to bear new burdens, shoulder graver responsibilities and prepare for a new era of realism across the globe.

The Spectator

2689: Annus impuratus? – solution

From our UK edition

The puzzle title alluded to a ‘base year’ and the message spelt out using unclued lights was ‘PUZZLE NUMBER is THIS YEAR, TWENTY TWENTY-FIVE, when WRITTEN IN BASE ELEVEN’. First prize R.J.