Monday What a way to start The Year For Change! Am quite overwhelmed by the response to my slogan. Dave’s Big Face may be the most successful political poster campaign of all time. And to think how it started. With me walking into Nigel’s office in tears, practically hysterical. Little did I know when I
Tamzin Lightwater’s New Year resolutions Seal the Deal Goodness knows why, but the polls are still suggesting that a few strange voters are not yet 101 per cent sure they want Dave for PM. This sounds wacky, but we have to take it seriously and do everything we can to address that last tiny bit
January 2009 It was a simpler, more innocent world in those days. An inquiry into Mrs Spelperson paying her nanny with Commons expenses was widely seen to be ‘shocking’. Oh dear me! People hardly knew what sleaze was. Ken Clarke returns to the shadow cabinet in a deal forged by Gids over meatloaf — in
Monday Been agonising over it all weekend but I just don’t think I like the sound of Tammy Waters. I know it’s my best chance to get a safe seat, but Daddy is furious. Says it makes me sound like a country and western singer. Dave is adamant and says it really suits me. Am
Monday Oh dear. Maybe Mr Maude was right. Maybe we are heading for… no, I won’t say it. I refuse to say the HP words. A few rogue polls, that’s all it is. Dave says this would never have happened if we had got his No Complacency message out properly. We are now under orders
Monday I can’t quite believe what we had a strategy meeting about this morning. My hands are trembling as I type… What if climate change doesn’t exist? It’s too awful to contemplate. But we are being asked to consider: what if the earth is not getting warmer? What if the world is not sleepwalking to
Monday Exciting trip to Norfolk for the ‘de-selection’. After a gruelling train journey east, Poppy and I tucked into a delicious spread in a heavenly tea shop with the biggest scones ever. Everything was so cheap! We bought two of everything in all the shops, and got some great deals on Haggarts Tweed. We then
Monday V difficult to know how to respond to this one. Sometimes, something is so sad that it is better to just let it go. We had a big brainstorming session on Sunday with policy people, image consultants, focus group teams. In the end, it was decided that Dave should go for it after all.
Monday It wasn’t easy for Dave to come out and say it but he was really brave. Personally, I can’t see what all the fuss is about. We never said we were definitely going to have a referendum. Just that we definitely wanted to. There are a lot of things we definitely want to do.
Monday Some v awkward people are deliberately misunderstanding what Dave said about women- only shortlists. We feel we must remind these people that troublemaking is fundamentally unConservative and that any further attempts to disrupt Compassionate Cameronian principles of compliance with the party line and non-resistance to the stated policy of the leadership will be met
Monday Bit of a problem with the TV election debates. We want one debate. Mr Clegg wants three. Gordon wants 56 — two a day for four weeks of the campaign involving all our front-bench spokesmen. And he says he wants a special extended three-hour debate between Gids and Mr Darling with a ‘maths bee’,
Monday Oh dear. What a sad day. Desperate calls from upset MPs to the Expenses Helpline. Many of them elderly and beside themselves with worry about how they are going to make the repayments. Some are even having to contemplate horrendous sacrifices such as selling paintings that have been in their family for centuries! Of
SUNDAY What a triumph! Sam launches conference with an Erdem Moralioglu jacket which is far more Modern and Compassionate than Sarah Brown’s Moralioglu dress. At just £500 off the peg, this truly is affordable fashion for the Age of Austerity and an example to all Britons of how to look good on a budget. Dave
So exciting! Where better for The Party of The North to hold its last conference before taking power than Manchester? This is a vibrant city with many shops, restaurants and nightclubs. The cultural scene is diverse, the tap water is drinkable, and local people are friendly and welcoming. That said, please dress casually (no club
Monday OMG! It’s all systems go on our Balls Containment Strategy. Thank goodness we had it ready and didn’t listen to those people, not naming any names (Lord M) who assured us Mr B would never stick his big square head above the parapet. He’s clearly in a different league to the Milibanana who never
MONDAY Double code red alert: Dave’s going too grey! Huge postmortem into why we let a sprinkling of hairs which put him in touch with older voters escalate into whole patches of grey which led to an interviewer at the weekend uttering the T word*. Obviously there are things we can do to minimise impact
Monday List of conference ‘Banned Persons’ growing by the minute. DD, Bercow and Duncan obviously. (DD a total liability, in complete Guns & Ammo overdrive and would probably descend on Manchester in full combat gear with a branch on his head if we let him.) Mr Redwood has agreed to an amnesty if we let
Monday Wish we could decide whether the recession is over or not. Or at least decide what shape it is. Mr Letwin and Mr Willetts spend hours in the Tranquillity Room arguing about whether it’s a V, W or an L. My own theory, which I put forward at morning strategy meeting today, is that
Monday Mr Grayling is running the show this week. Am exhausted already. Had been hoping to kick back and do a bit of riding. Fat chance with Robocop in charge. He’s moved on from talking about Jeremy Kyle to The Wire and is obsessed with the idea that Britain is in the grip of urban
Monday Mrs Hannan on the phone again, wanting to know when she can have her husband back. Told her to hold the line while I asked Nigel who stopped Twittering just long enough to shake his head in a v grim way and make a sign with his finger across his throat. Not sure what