Stokoe

‘It’s got power-assisted dying, just aim for the cliff edge and put your foot down...’

‘Well, I enjoyed your first day back at school, dear…’

‘I want every single brick collected as evidence and then we can use them to build houses later.’

‘Stop trying to start a civil war, dear, and get back to your crossword.’

‘I’m training Dad to vote Labour...’

‘How would you like to pay – cash, card, or through the nose?’

‘I bet you £1,000 that Rishi Sunak won’t be prime minister next year.’

‘Which mode will annoy the neighbours more?’

‘It’s an XL Bully, the last of this breed…’

‘You’ll meet a tall, dark stranger online. Unfortunately he’ll live in the Ulez zone.’

‘Look! Someone is stealing our doorbell camera!’

‘If you want to talk dirty I’ll have to charge you an extra £12.50.’

‘How much dough are you looking to borrow?’

‘He’s ditched his new bird and gone back to an X.’

‘Oh no, I couldn’t – you’ve got bills to pay…’