Steerpike

With a day to go before voters head to the polls, Zack Polanski is determined to go out with a bang. Having already issued a quasi-apology to the police after criticising their handling of the Golders Green knife incident, the great Green boob whisperer decided the morning before local elections day would be the perfect moment for a sequel. Cue an appearance on BBC Radio 4’s Today programme, where Nick Robinson invited him to explain why his ire seemed directed less at the man with the blade and more at those trying to stop him. In a bid to appeal to both the Mothin Alis and Caroline Lucases of the world, Polanski responded: Two things can be true at the same time.

Zack Polanski is no stranger to reinventing himself. He’s been an actor, a hypnotherapist capable of enlarging breasts, a nightclub promoter, a mental health counsellor and even… a Lib Dem. Now the Times has uncovered another entry on the already well-stuffed Polanski CV. According to the Green leader, he once served dutifully as a spokesman for the British Red Cross. Only the Times also discovered that this was a complete fiction, the left-wing leader never actually held the role. Polanski made the claim on his site while running for Green deputy leader in 2022. But the British Red Cross last night confirmed Polanski ‘has not been a spokesperson’. Rather, he had been an on-stage host ‘for several fundraisers’.

Back in February, Steerpike's old friend Ed Miliband vowed to liberate Britain’s nuclear industry from the stranglehold of bureaucracy. Red Ed promised to take a sledgehammer to the ‘archaic rules’ holding back the construction of power stations across the land. He even admitted that Britain’s record on nuclear is diabolical on a global scale, with ours among the priciest places on earth to get a plant built. All very encouraging, Mr S thought. So, imagine his surprise to learn that, while the Department for Energy Security and Net Zero is supposedly busy striking matches for its great red-tape bonfire, it has found time to spend £12,000 of taxpayers’ money on… DEI support for the Office for Nuclear Regulation! Yes, really.

Many in SW1 have remarked that Kemi Badenoch has come on quite a bit since her early PMQs' appearances. The Tory leader can now land a blow on television and can address the Commons with the confidence and clarity she lacked in earlier days. Significant progress, then. But alas, yesterday brought a reminder that live radio remains a cruel mistress. Appearing on BBC Radio Sussex and Surrey yesterday, Badenoch was asked about the Conservatives’ record in local government. Were Tory councils, that once familiar spectacle across the Home Counties, doing a good job? Naturally, the party leader thought so. ‘We have excellent councils,’ she declared, before producing a list: ‘Guildford, Runnymede, Elmbridge, Epsom, Mole Valley.

Wakey wakey! Whoooo remembers the United Kingdom Independence Party? Steerpike has fond memories of Ukip, Nigel Farage's previous-but-one political vehicle which he then left to lead the Brexit Party back during the not-so-sunny days of Theresa May's government. Along the way, a fair few Kippers have followed Farage on his journey and now ended up in Reform. The likes of Paul Nuttall and Ed Sumner are now helping run the party, while Gawain Towler is on the board. But Steerpike's eye has been drawn to a little-noticed candidate who is pitching herself in Guildford. For, in the ward of Cranleigh and Ewhurst, a onetime political star has gone back to her roots in local government.

As a darling of the progressive commentariat, Gary Lineker is not usually one to let injustice pass unremarked. The former BBC star has become a tireless outrider for the Palestinian cause, devoting generous acreage on social media and in interviews to Gaza. On that subject, dear Gary has told us that ‘when I see some images on social media, I cry all the time’ and warned that ‘if you’re silent on these issues, you’re almost complicit’. Nor should one expect the podcast entrepreneur to fall silent on immigration. While raking in more than £1.3 million a year to host Match of the Day, in 2023 Lineker found time to train his moral artillery on Suella Braverman.

As local elections loom ever closer, Britain’s intrepid party leaders have taken to the road to pitch themselves far and wide. Set-piece visits are a chance to show the Westminster elite really are down with the people. So who, in the run-up to next week’s high-stakes poll, has gone all guns blazing in the battle for 7 May? Steerpike has the numbers and they show that since the start of March, Nigel Farage tops the tally of campaign visits at 59, covering stops from Swindon to South Tyneside and even the Shetland Islands. Not bad for 62... Kemi Badenoch takes silver, coming in on 41 including Pembroke and Aberdeen. Boob-busting hypnotist turned Green Party leader Zack Polanski meanwhile managed 15 visits, including the liberal trifecta of Brighton, Margate and Hackney.

After Robert Jenrick’s (not entirely) shocking defection to Reform in January, Westminster’s eyes swiftly turned towards one of the Tory party’s new bright young things: Katie Lam. Would the 34-year-old MP for Weald of Kent pack her bags and follow her political chum across the teal Rubicon? Lam, widely regarded as a rising star on the opposition benches, had been an indefatigable cheerleader for Jenrick during his failed run for the Tory leadership in 2024. But appearing on The Spectator’s podcast Quite right! today, Lam briskly swatted away any suggestion that she might be tempted to join Bobby J on his new adventure. Indeed, she disclosed that she has not spoken to him ‘even once’, neither in person nor via message, since his leap to the teal team.