Royston

‘Get your burglary made into a TV drama and we’ll get back to you.’

‘You should know that I have a strict no-returns policy.’

‘They should have let it be’

‘Chaos, dysfunction, aggression... I’m starting to warm to these guys.’

‘Nice to see a bit of sparkle from Keir at last.’

‘I understand it was done by vandals in the party.’

‘How many times do I have to tell everyone that, yes, I accept cookies?’

‘Warning: this report contains details that some may find distressing.’

‘I can’t say I care for your move into “observational stuff”.’

‘There’s plenty more fish in the sea, poor souls.’

‘I’m not sure about this barbie movie.’

‘Just leave her be – she identifies as a cat.’

‘I promise to tell my truth, my whole truth and nothing but my truth.’

‘I’m disappointed King Charles didn’t find the time to talk to us.’

‘One huge sticking plaster, please.’

‘We could start a podcast.’

‘Make sure you wait for the Green Man’