Rod Liddle is associate editor of The Spectator.
There was a very funny joke told by the slightly weird American comedian Emo Philips a dozen or so years ago. He was talking about his German girlfriend, and how she loved being in New York. What she loved best, he said, were those New York bagels, she couldn’t get enough of them. “And you
After a top secret operation costing a lot of money and carried out by myself, I can reveal that I have at last killed Adolf Hitler, the man responsible for the second world war. Only hours after the American government told a jubilant world that its special forces had killed the evil Muslim murderer, Osama
An interesting piece, a week or so back, from Matthew Parris in the magazine – sorry I haven’t got around to it before now. There are columns I read immediately in The Spectator and others which I lay down like a fine wine to mellow for a while, perhaps for months or even years, always
The Preston North End striker, Nathan Ellington, who is black, has complained about the abuse he received while playing, briefly, for his club against Millwall on Saturday. On that medium for the half-witted and forlorn, Twitter, he said the Millwall crowd were “a disgrace to the human race,” and added: “Monkey noises and Calling (sic)
Why does everyone think that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, is so clever? Is it just the beard? Maybe if you nailed a beard onto Wayne Rooney people would start saying he was clever too, rather than thinking him a truculent potato-headed troll with learning difficulties. Beards are a mask, a diversionary tactic. If
What, to your mind, constitutes a ‘hate crime’? I’ve been wondering about this since reading the comments of Paul Marshall, of the Cumbria CID. What, to your mind, constitutes a ‘hate crime’? I’ve been wondering about this since reading the comments of Paul Marshall, of the Cumbria CID. Paul had been expressing his great satisfaction
Lord Carlile has attacked unelected Strasbourg judges for making too narrow an interpretation of the European Convention on Human Rights and thus coming into conflict with the British parliament. His main area of concern has been the way in which the Euro judges prevent us from chucking out illegal asylum seekers, foreign criminals and potential
The right-wing historian Niall Ferguson is very handsome, isn’t he? If I were a woman, or a homosexual, I would certainly set my cap at him; I would let him order for me in restaurants and handle me brusquely in the bedroom as he revealed to me the full tumescent glory of his ‘killer app’,
Sad to hear of the death of Sidney Lumet, whose films, for the most part, I enjoyed. His most famous – 12 Angry Men – was certainly compelling, claustrophobic and actorly; a little like a very early version of the wonderful Glengarry Glen Ross, in its reliance upon dialogue and nuance. Hardly a surprise that
Are women to blame for almost everything, as the Minister of State for Universities and Science, David Willetts, seems to think? I would not lightly discount the possibility; they can, after all, be terribly trying. They are certainly to blame for most of the bad things which have happened in my life, if you discount
The Guardian’s political editor, Michael White, has been writing about the possibility of there being a British version of the American’s Tea Party. He says: “Potential leaders? Motormouth red-top columnists such as Jon Gaunt, Rod Liddle and Richard Littlejohn are routinely touted……..” Are we? Excellent. I think I’d make a wonderful leader of a British
Here’s a game I often play on a Sunday afternoon. Look through the weekend’s papers and pick out people you would never ever want to meet, under any circumstances. The “Weekenders” slot in The Guardian is usually good for this. But there are plenty of gems hidden away elsewhere, such as this, from the Sunday
Apparently the black writer of good natured doggerel, Benjamin Zephaniah, was airbrushed out of leaflets distributed by the pro-AV lobby and Baldrick photo-shopped in, instead. This was for leaflets which were distributed outside London; the ones in London showed Zephaniah alongside a bunch of similarly minded pseudo slebs. The implication is that people outside London
‘When I’m rushing on my run, And I feel just like Jesus’ son And I guess but I just don’t know, And I guess but I just don’t know.’ Lou Reed Would we be happier, do you think, if we all took large quantities of heroin? It would take the edge off some of the
Ah, first The Arab League and now The Guardian. There was a piece by Jonathan Freedland earlier this week about why the military action against Gaddafi has recently exceeded its original remit and – sadly, for the world – he could no longer support it. During the article, he danced on the head of a
At last I have managed to get my five year old daughter to like Coca Cola. Previously she drank only still water, milk or apple juice. I think she found the fizziness of cola disconcerting – but at last commonsense has prevailed, helped by a little peer pressure from her brothers. Now she loves the
A woman on a British Airways flight who was seven months pregnant was told to give up her more spacious seat because of overbooking. A whole bunch of other passengers were instructed likewise. It was a two leg flight, as I understand it, and for the duration of the first leg all the spacious seats
Actually, it’s a good question. How long is a piece of string? I’ve often wondered, and I’ve seen some string in my time. The problem is, they were all of different lengths, these bits of string, some long, some shorter. I suppose the mean length of string I’ve come across would be about nine inches,
Great news for the nuclear industry and indeed for the world: George Monbiot has “altered” his stance on nuclear power and is now in favour of it, rather than being non-committal. In a magnificently self-regarding piece for the Grauniad yesterday he pointed out what most of the rest of us have been arguing for years
I thought it would take at least three days for these new allies – France, UK, US – to lose the support of the Arab League, upon whose agreement this latest fatuous adventure was predicated. But it took rather less than that; about five minutes after the first Tomahawk had been fired, in fact. Tomorrow,
