Paul Wood

‘I’m not racist, but…’

‘You’ve missed out all the LGBT stuff.’

‘And if you listen carefully you can hear another boat carrying migrants…’

‘All my begging is recorded for training purposes.’

‘One day I’ll be rich and famous and someone will do my texting for me.’

‘I’m sorry, but we don’t allow second homes.’

‘Hmm… it’s OK. Do you have one in uranium?’

‘I believe our MPs should be more transparent.’

‘Hello, FBI, can you unlock my daughter’s mind?’

‘Thank heavens, it’s just a drunken stag. I thought the Tory party were on board.’

‘Boris, Trump… politics has never been so exciting.’