Fee-fi-fo-fum
‘Fee-fi-fo-fum, I no longer smell the blood of an Englishman.’
Paul Wood
Thursday
Thursday
What do I miss most in lockdown
‘What do I miss most in lockdown? Going to an art gallery.’
Thursday
So, this lockdown
‘So, this lockdown — what’s it like?’
Well, here I am, Puss
‘Well, here I am, Puss, all dressed up and vaccinated with no place to go.’
Thursday
Look Joolz
‘Look Joolz, a new coffee shop.’
Thursday
Oh no, it’s the tinfoil hat man
‘Oh no, it’s the tinfoil hat man!’
How’s the wine, dear?
‘How’s the wine, dear? I hear it packs a bit of a wallop.’
Thursday
Dress-down Friday
‘I know you work from home now, Edward, but do you still have to do dress-down Friday?’
Your starting salary
‘Your starting salary? Why don’t you take a wild guess?’
Thursday
Immunity passport
‘Typical! All our regulars have decided not to have the vaccine!’
Thursday
Critical race theory
‘And do you, Angela, agree to undergo a course of critical race theory...’
Do we have to play, Dad?
‘Do we have to play, Dad? You know you can never remember the rules.’
Thursday
He’s lost his sense of taste
‘It’s my husband, he’s lost his sense of taste.’
Thursday
Losing my connection
‘I’m going to have to go guys, I’m losing my connection.’
Thursday
What sex is it?
‘What sex is it? Let’s enter that minefield.’
Thursday
Human guinea pigs
‘Well we’ve tested the vaccine on animals, now for the human guinea pigs.’
Thursday
Running out of ways
‘Let’s face it – we’re running out of ways to rescue the country.’
Thursday
After spending so much time in isolation
‘After spending so much time in isolation I decided to cut it myself.’
Saturday
Stockpiling
New gestures replace the handshake
