I’ve sent for all the King’s pharmacists
‘I’ve sent for all the King’s pharmacists.’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Wednesday
All Ed Sheeran lawsuits sound the same to me
‘All Ed Sheeran lawsuits sound the same to me.’
Wednesday
Wednesday
I’m rehearsing for the coronation
‘I’m rehearsing for the coronation.’
Wednesday
They should withdraw the whip
‘Given your links to gambling, they should withdraw the whip.’
The junior doctors are on strike
‘The junior doctors are on strike so you’ll have to wait for your misdiagnosis.’
Tuesday
I can’t decide which AI chatbot to use
‘I’ve got writer’s block – I can’t decide which AI chatbot to use.’
I’m sorry, but for me blind casting just doesn’t work
‘I’m sorry, but for me blind Nick newcasting just doesn’t work.’
Wednesday
Souvenir from Paris
‘We brought you back a souvenir from Paris’
No need to forgive me
‘No need to forgive me, Father, for my advisers assured me I haven’t sinned.’
Wednesday
Mr Punch will get a knighthood
‘I expect Mr Punch will get a knighthood.’
Thursday
Which author would you like to cancel?
‘Which author would you like to cancel?’
Wednesday
The case against Boris Johnson
‘It’s the case against Boris Johnson’
Wednesday
If you really loved me
‘If you really loved me you would have got me a tomato.’
Wednesday
I accept you saw Elvis
‘I accept you saw Elvis – I just don’t believe he had a tomato.’
Wednesday
You’re just miffed
‘You’re just miffed because the King hasn’t invited you to the coronation.’