Nick Newman

‘Gingerbread’s safer than concrete.’

‘I failed! Does that mean I get a peerage in the Liz Truss honours?’

‘Is Keir Starmer a real bore or just a man in a bore’s outfit?’

‘If I wanted to see people making a bomb I’d have a look at my gas bill.’

‘Quick! Someone take a blurry photo!’

‘God, how can the Ulez zone be everywhere?’

‘I’m looking for Mr Hard Right.’

‘It goes from 0-100°C in under six seconds.’

‘If it’s pain you’re after...’

‘... and my thanks to Boris Johnson, without whom...’

‘Gingerbread doesn’t appeal to the kiddies any more.’