I’m an HS2 trainspotter
‘I’m an HS2 trainspotter.’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Wednesday
Any programme ideas that don’t involve humiliating Matt Hancock?
‘Any programme ideas that don’t involve humiliating Matt Hancock?’
Wednesday
Dr Yes
‘Usually he’s Dr Yes but he’s on strike.’
I’d like to see how Jeremy Hunt gets out of triple lock pensions
‘I’d like to see how Jeremy Hunt gets out of triple lock pensions.’
Wednesday
It’s not Lee Anderson’s fault
‘It’s not Lee Anderson’s fault – it’s his master who can’t control him.’
An escaped prisoner comes as standard
‘An escaped prisoner comes as standard.’
Wednesday
Gingerbread’s safer than concrete
‘Gingerbread’s safer than concrete.’
Thursday
You don’t have to identify as a cat to be a teacher’s pet
‘You don’t have to identify as a cat to be a teacher’s pet.’
Wednesday
Wednesday
I failed!
‘I failed! Does that mean I get a peerage in the Liz Truss honours?’
Wednesday
Real bore
‘Is Keir Starmer a real bore or just a man in a bore’s outfit?’
Wednesday
Gas bill
‘If I wanted to see people making a bomb I’d have a look at my gas bill.’
Wednesday
Blurry photo
‘Quick! Someone take a blurry photo!’
Wednesday
God, how can the Ulez zone be everywhere?
‘God, how can the Ulez zone be everywhere?’
Wednesday
Mr Hard Right
‘I’m looking for Mr Hard Right.’
French poodle
‘Our French poodle keeps setting fire to our car.’