Gerry Adams getting compensation
From our UK edition
‘When my husband heard about Gerry Adams getting compensation, he exploded.’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Convicted felon
From our UK edition
‘Are we keeping the public out or the convicted felon in?’
Wednesday
It’s so cold and bleak
From our UK edition
‘It’s so cold and bleak, Donald Trump may want to buy us.’
Wednesday
Who DOES God think he is?
From our UK edition
‘Who DOES God think he is? Elon Musk?’
Monday
173% accurate
From our UK edition
‘Our numbers are 173% accurate!’
Monday
Tell yonder peasant
From our UK edition
‘Tell yonder peasant that the winter fuel allowance is cancelled.’
May I remind the audience
From our UK edition
‘May I remind the audience to turn mobile phones on.’
Wednesday
A few inappropriate remarks and it was back to waiting tables
From our UK edition
‘A few inappropriate remarks and it was back to waiting tables.’
Wednesday
We need you to be Archbishop of Canterbury
From our UK edition
‘We need you to be Archbishop of Canterbury.’
Wednesday
It’s a shot in the arm for anti-vaxxers
From our UK edition
‘It’s a shot in the arm for anti-vaxxers.’
You’ve got what it takes
From our UK edition
‘You’ve got what it takes to be the Archbishop of Canterbury!’
Wednesday
All new Tesla
From our UK edition
‘There are no brakes and it’s back-seat drive.’
Oh no!
From our UK edition
‘Oh no! Sequels are always worse than the original!’
Wednesday
Thanks to inheritance tax
From our UK edition
‘Thanks to inheritance tax, it’s more of a “won’t”.’
Hooray! Early release!
From our UK edition
‘Hooray! Early release!’
Wednesday
Let us hope and pray
From our UK edition
‘Let us hope and pray it’s before the Budget.’
Weight-loss jab
From our UK edition
‘I’m afraid the weight loss jab may not necessarily get you work, Mr Blobby.’
Wednesday
Alex Salmond insisted on independence
From our UK edition
‘Alex Salmond insisted on independence.’
I’m waiting to see what’s in the Budget
From our UK edition
‘I’m waiting to see what’s in the Budget.’
Wednesday
I hope this doesn’t degenerate into a Tory leadership contest
From our UK edition
‘I hope this doesn’t degenerate into a Tory leadership contest.’
