Hooray! Early release!
‘Hooray! Early release!’
Nick Newman
Wednesday
Wednesday
Let us hope and pray
‘Let us hope and pray it’s before the Budget.’
Weight-loss jab
‘I’m afraid the weight loss jab may not necessarily get you work, Mr Blobby.’
Wednesday
Alex Salmond insisted on independence
‘Alex Salmond insisted on independence.’
I’m waiting to see what’s in the Budget
‘I’m waiting to see what’s in the Budget.’
Wednesday
I hope this doesn’t degenerate into a Tory leadership contest
‘I hope this doesn’t degenerate into a Tory leadership contest.’
The school bully
‘The school bully made me dance a perfect foxtrot.’
Wednesday
Eaten granny
‘The boy who identifies as a wolf has eaten Granny!’
Wednesday
How much access can I get for a pair of trousers?
‘How much access can I get for a pair of trousers?’
FOMO means
‘I’m worried I’m the only one who doesn’t know what FOMO means.’
Wednesday
The fighting’s better
‘I’ve got tickets to the Tory conference – the fighting’s better.’
Thursday
Baker Street… what are the schools like?
‘Baker Street... what are the schools like?’
You can always spot the pushy parents
‘You can always spot the pushy parents.’
Wednesday
Relax – the price you pay doesn’t involve VAT
‘Relax – the price you pay doesn’t involve VAT.’
Wing of bat
‘Wing of bat, eye of newt, Heinz spaghetti carbonara…’
Where’s Wally’s parents?
Wednesday
I’m here to judge
‘I’m here to judge the abuse cases.’
Wednesday
Twitter storms
‘...with violent Twitter storms from the west sweeping across the entire country.’
The Banksy is left at the Banksy, right at the Banksy and opposite the Banksy
‘The Banksy is left at the Banksy, right at the Banksy and opposite the Banksy.’
Wednesday
I went out looting but the shoplifters got there first
‘I went out looting but the shoplifters got there first.’
