Melanie McDonagh

Melanie McDonagh

Melanie McDonagh is an Irish journalist working in London.

Friday

Melanie McDonagh

Canterbury Cathedral’s ‘rave in the nave’ is indefensible

From our UK edition

It's too late to get tickets for Canterbury Cathedral's silent disco tonight – as with last night's event, they sold out long ago – but you can still join the orderly prayer vigil against this caricature of the contemporary Church of England. Some 750 clubbers are expected to attend each of the four events over two days, to dance in the nave to hits from Britney Spears, the Spice Girls and Eminem. They'll party the night away not far away from where Thomas a Becket was murdered in 1170 as he clung to a pillar; his brains and blood mixed on the floor. His shrine is somewhere nearby. Oh, and alcohol will be available for revellers. This martyrdom site was once the second most popular pilgrimage destination in the Middle Ages.

Saturday

Melanie McDonagh

Is Caroline Nokes really a Conservative?

From our UK edition

Quite a number of people have been asking what Caroline Nokes MP is doing in the Conservative party after her very odd appearance on Newsnight on Thursday. She was meant to be discussing the asylum status of Abdul Ezedi, the sole suspect in the horrific Clapham alkali attack which left a mother with life-altering injuries and her two daughters in hospital. His asylum status – he was granted asylum the third time he asked after claiming to have converted to Christianity and therefore to be at risk of persecution in Afghanistan – was quite an issue, given that, in 2018, he was found guilty of a sex offence. Something there for the chair of the women and equalities committee to get her teeth into, no? Nope.

Wednesday

Melanie McDonagh

Enough with the King’s prostate

From our UK edition

How very nice that the King is now out of hospital, back home and, will, we are told, soon be back in business with his red boxes. Is it too much to hope that we can be spared further updates on his condition?  ‘All Hail the King’s Prostate Honesty’. Oh yuck. Can we stop? We have, I think, heard enough about his enlarged prostate. Charles has been praised for being so open about his diagnosis in the hope that it will encourage other men to investigate this important organ. NHS England declared that the ‘enlarged prostate’ page on its website was read every five seconds on the day of the King’s diagnosis, which is terrifically gratifying. The Telegraph was terrifically upbeat about Charles ensuring that men ‘do not die of embarrassment’.

Friday

Melanie McDonagh

Alabama’s nitrogen gas execution is indefensible

From our UK edition

Let’s park for a moment the morality of the death penalty. You know what you think. It’s one of those issues that is as divisive as it gets, and along all the predictable lines. It’s the method that exercises me. Last night, Alabama executed Kenneth Smith by the administration of nitrogen gas. Smith, who murdered a pastor’s wife in 1988, was strapped down as officials put a tight fitting, commercial industrial-safety respirator mask on his face. A canister of pure nitrogen was attached to the mask and set flowing. One local journalist who witnessed the execution said Smith struggled and thrashed about – well as much as the restraints on him made possible – for four or five minutes. Indeed, his struggle for life may have lasted some 20 minutes.

Thursday

Melanie McDonagh

Why are doctors being threatened for reporting late-term abortions?

From our UK edition

The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) this week threatened to use punitive measures against doctors who report late-term abortions to the police.  Normally, medics have to respect patient confidentiality, but they can report individuals if it's in the public interest. But now the college is saying in its latest guidance that any medic who reports their concerns to police must 'justify' the disclosure of patient data or else could face ‘fitness to practise’ investigations. The RCOG’s president Dr Ranee Thakar said it's ‘never in the public interest’ to investigate or prosecute these cases. Where a foetus is capable of surviving outside the womb, we're talking about a very unpleasant reality That's plainly not true.

Melanie McDonagh

Everyone should eat venison

From our UK edition

Well, lucky little tiny tots at Top Days nurseries in Hampshire and Dorset. It’s Bambi on the menu for them now that the organisation running the schools has teamed up with the Eat Wild company, which promotes wild meats, to introduce venison into school lunches. They’re rolling out five dishes featuring venison, including deer mince in spaghetti bolognese and burgers. Some 3,000 children will benefit, and there will be more when the scheme is introduced in other schools. It is the obvious and sane solution to the problem of an ever-increasing deer population, short of introducing wolves to cull the creatures, which nowadays have no natural predators. The children get to eat venison, which is low in fat and rich in nutrients like iron and zinc.

Tuesday

Melanie McDonagh

Why the Children’s Word of the Year makes me feel sad

From our UK edition

Along with the Oxford University Press Word of the Year – usually something you'd never say yourself – and the Pantone Colour of the Year (seriously, has anyone ever asked for a revolting shade called Peach Fuzz?) there is rather an interesting index of our annual concerns: the Children's Word of the Year. The exercise has been going on since 2014: the Oxford English Dictionary people ask children for a word to sum up the year. This year, it's 'climate change' followed by 'war'. Yep, adult concerns being foisted on our unfortunate young folk. And I can hear you now: blame Greta Thunberg. Actually, it turns out that children's words have been getting progressively more serious for some time.

Wednesday

Melanie McDonagh

In search of the perfect chocolate cake

From our UK edition

What Victoria is to a jam sponge, so is Sacher to chocolate cake. It’s a man, a hotel and a cake and, indeed, shorthand for a city. The lines of people outside the Sacher Hotel café in Vienna for chocolate cake with whipped cream on the side are looking for a Viennese experience, like schnitzel, Strauss waltzes or pictures by Klimt. Sacher cake is something you find everywhere, but this one is grounded in a particular place, the Café Sacher. The 360,000 Sacher tortes of varying sizes that are made yearly in its manufactory and dispatched in classy wooden boxes are the exemplars of a formula that has taken over the world. It’s not every hotel where you get chocolate cake for breakfast The cake predates the hotel.

Monday

Melanie McDonagh

Just Say No to abstinence this January

From our UK edition

Today’s a day for waltzes from Vienna and loafing around on one of the three days of the year when people actually stop work. But tomorrow, it’s going to be business as usual – only worse. The retail sector goes all glum on 2 January. It’s out with the party food, the charcuterie platters, port and anything featuring mincemeat, and in with smoothies, salads and plant-based ready meals, plus a focus on fitness gear in the clothing department. Oh and alcohol free everything for the teetotal binge that is Dry January.  January never was a time for abstinence; it was a time for sociability and eating well Can we not see how bizarre, how unnatural all this is?

Monday

Melanie McDonagh

When will the BBC’s Julia Donaldson obsession end?

From our UK edition

The BBC thinks it wouldn't be Christmas without an adaptation of a Julia Donaldson book. This is another dispiriting example of the invention of a faux Christmas tradition. This year, it's the turn of Tabby McTat, a story about a musical cat and a busker, which will be broadcast this afternoon. This isn't the first time a Donaldson book has been adapted for the BBC's Christmas line up; it was The Smegs and the Smoos last year. And Superworm, Zog And The Flying Doctors and The Gruffalo have all received the animation treatment over the last decade, and are on BBC iPlayer in case you didn't catch them the first time. Isn't it time the BBC looked elsewhere for kiddy uplift? Isn't it time the BBC looked elsewhere for kiddy uplift?

Sunday

Melanie McDonagh

Stella Creasy is wrong about the ‘motherhood penalty’

From our UK edition

If you find yourself frazzled by the Christmas rush, spare a thought for Stella Creasy, MP for Walthamstow, who is struggling to balance motherhood and her hectic social schedule. The other day she tweeted: ‘As I walk past everyone going to Christmas parties and drinks on my way to get the kids from nursery, yet again acutely aware the motherhood penalty is just a gift that keeps giving…. Not just flexible working we need but flexible networking too.’ It’s tough, no? Having to put the drinks parties (and remember, half of political life is conducted on the social front) on hold to do the active parenting of two children is a trade-off.

Wednesday

Melanie McDonagh

The slow death of Christmas cake

From our UK edition

Wouldn’t you just know it? Christmas cake, as in dense fruitcake covered with marzipan and usually tooth-destroying royal icing, is being displaced by chocolate cake. Almost half of a sample of 2,000 people surveyed by Ocado said they’d prefer chocolate to fruitcake. The trend is represented by Nigella Lawson, who is making something called a Winter Wonderland chocolate and raspberry cake instead. ‘Much as I happen to love a slice of dense, damp Christmas cake, especially when eaten with a crumbly slice of good, strong, sharp cheese, I am surrounded by those who abominate dried fruit in all its seasonal manifestations,’ she writes. ‘If no one in your family likes dried fruit, there’s no point having a Christmas cake gathering dust.

Tuesday

Melanie McDonagh

So long to the landline

From our UK edition

So Debrett’s has really got behind the latest technology by issuing a guide to the appropriate use of the mobile phone, or rather, ten commandments. The oldies are warned that young people take fright at an unexpected call – text first to see if it’s convenient – and the young are told that they should give a caller their undivided attention on the basis that it’s perfectly obvious if you’re doing something else and ‘This can be very alienating for the recipient, who feels marginalised and deprioritised’.   The thing about the demise of landlines is that it’s pretty well impossible to get hold of anyone easily without it That’s all very well and bears out the weird ways communication is going.

Saturday

Melanie McDonagh

Do we really need more diversity on Gardener’s World?

From our UK edition

Boo. Monty Don is retiring in a couple of years as presenter of Gardener’s World, because it’s getting to be a slog and a treadmill. But he’s already doing his bit to influence the BBC's choice of his successor. He told Times Radio that he thought the show needed more diversity – and that the BBC should think 'ten times' before picking an Oxbridge-educated middle-aged man again as its lead presenter: 'In a truly just and fair society, we wouldn’t care what someone’s colour or race or creed or sex was. But the truth is that it’s much more delicate. And I think that I’m absolutely persuaded that in order to include everybody, you have to open doors that either are or seem to be shut.

Friday

Melanie McDonagh

Should Kyiv really ban the Ukrainian Orthodox Church?

From our UK edition

The war in Ukraine, which was until 7 October the only foreign news we could think about, is no longer centre stage but is continuing in an increasingly attritional way. And Ukrainian politics continue, inevitably, to be dominated by the war with the result that fundamental freedoms are now a casualty of the conflict. Specifically, there is a bill before the Ukrainian parliament, which has already passed its first reading, that would ban the Ukrainian Orthodox Church. This historically has been located within the Russian Orthodox Church, whose leader, Patriarch Kirill, is notoriously invested in the war, on the Russian side. He is, moreover, close to Vladimir Putin.

Wednesday

Melanie McDonagh

The best of this year’s children’s books

From our UK edition

In some children’s books, nothing much happens. In Roberto Piumini’s Glowrushes (Pushkin Press, £9.99), it’s like this: a father, a great Turkish lord, hires an artist to paint his sick son’s rooms for his 11th birthday, and together the boy and the painter create walls of wondrous imaginary landscapes. It turns out that you don’t have to travel outside your own room to inhabit new worlds. One wall is for the meadows of a goatherd, with tiny red goats, a lame dog and a distant minaret and a muezzin with a big nose. Another is for a besieged castle with a lovely princess atop a tower. And one room has glowrushes, wheat grasses which shine in the dark. It’s hard to say what age this story is meant for, but it reminds me of The Little Prince, where everything has its own logic.

Tuesday

Melanie McDonagh

How to make Irish barm brack

From our UK edition

Those of us who grew up with a traditional Halloween, that is to say, in Ireland, don’t have much truck with the contemporary version. The pumpkin-coloured, gore and chocolate fest that has come to Britain via the US is gross by comparison; we had a simple version. We dressed up, but in masks and any old clothes we could lay our hands on. We had nuts and apples for bobbing, not chocolate in the shape of severed fingers. We went from house to house looking for a penny for the bobbin’, not trick or treating. And the thing you really looked forward to was barm brack. Halloween was a time for ghosts, not chainsaw massacres It’s actually a fruited, not too sweet yeast loaf, which is really good buttered, and if a bit stale, toasted and buttered.

Wednesday

Melanie McDonagh

Why did this brilliant Irish artist fall off the radar? 

From our UK edition

Sir John Lavery has always had a place in Irish affections. His depiction of his wife, Hazel, as the mythical figure of Cathleen ni Houlihan, which appeared on the old ten shilling and subsequently on the watermark of the Irish pound notes, meant, as the joke went, that every Irishman kept her close to his heart. He was indeed Irish – born in Belfast – but was at home in Scotland, and was the best known of the spirited group of painters called the Glasgow Boys. Yet he lived most of his life in London, was friends with Winston Churchill (they took a painting trip together) and also with Michael Collins, the Irish Nationalist, with whom Hazel was, ahem, close. If ever there were a man who embodied the interconnectedness of Britain and Ireland, it was Lavery.

Friday

Melanie McDonagh

Sir Ranulph Fiennes: a living Lawrence of Arabia

From our UK edition

Sir Ranulph Fiennes (a third cousin of Ralph, since you ask) has written a book about Lawrence of Arabia. He feels an affinity with him: he too has led Arabs in fighting, in Sir Ranulph’s case, for the Sultan of Oman. ‘I’d been in Arabia, leading Arabs against the Marxist rebels. In Lawrence’s day, the British were fighting the Germans and the Turks’.   ‘It’s my DNA. My ancestors did lots of travel in new places’ The circumstances differed. ‘Lawrence had camels and was dealing with a huge body of men; I had six open-topped Land Rovers with two machine guns and I led 30 men; a mixture of Belushis and Oman Arabs and Zanzibars. I felt about the men as a family.’ What does he make of Lawrence’s extraordinary career? ‘It mystified me’, he says.

Monday

Melanie McDonagh

The sad decline of Disney

From our UK edition

Happy Birthday, Disney. A hundred years ago today, Walt and his brother Roy formed the Disney Brothers’ Studio to produce a series of short films based on Alice in Wonderland, a successor to Walt’s original Laugh-O-Gram studio. It helped shape the American imagination and transformed the art of animation. If you meet anyone who actually saw the original Snow White in the cinema – as the late Stewart Steven told me – you’ll find they recall being scared out of their wits by the scene where Snow White runs through the forest with eyes and groping hands following her. Actually, there’s an awful lot to scare the viewer in Snow White. And no one has ever bettered ‘Hi Ho, Hi Ho’, as an animation melody.