Mary Killen

Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How can I stop unexpected visitors using my loo?

From our UK edition

Q. I treat myself to a manicure every ten days. It’s a 30-minute appointment and the girl I use is always fully booked. I turned up — punctual as always — for my appointment this week to be told that the client before me had been stuck in traffic and so my manicurist was ‘running

Dear Mary: Do I have to display my friend’s awful painting?

From our UK edition

Q. A long-standing artist friend, whose work now commands high prices, has sent me out of the blue a present of one of her paintings. She clearly didn’t realise after all these years that, although I have always been immensely fond of her, I have never been a fan of her work. I am grateful

Dear Mary: How can I get my cleaner to stop complaining?

From our UK edition

Q. My cleaner is industrious and trustworthy but she doesn’t have many people to talk to and evidently looks forward to her shifts as social occasions. She loves having a captive audience (my brother and I are currently WFH) and her conversation consists mainly of complaints, so it’s never a fun chat. It’s generally a

Dear Mary: How do I stop my daughter-in-law’s daily calls?

From our UK edition

Q. I live alone, happily and remotely, but many miles from my immediate family. My son’s wife has very kindly taken it on herself to telephone every day to check on my wellbeing. Apparently she feels that, by so doing, she is giving me the chance to have ‘a chat’. I am grateful, of course,

Dear Mary: how can I get out of a Christmas party?

From our UK edition

Q. I belong to a fairly intimate private club which is the one reliable oasis of calm and civility that I know of outside my own home. Now an old schoolfriend is pressuring me to propose him for membership (he needs the endorsement of a club member and I am the only one he knows).

Dear Mary: how can I learn to cope with my husband’s mess?

From our UK edition

Q. My husband has fallen in love with ‘the country’ and retired to Exmoor while I maintain a presence in our Notting Hill residence for work. The problem is he has left his London study, carved from half our ground-floor sitting room, in its traditional disordered condition as if he has only popped out to

Dear Mary: How do I get my masseuse to stop talking?

From our UK edition

Q. Our two daughters often bring friends down for the weekend. These friends are more than welcome; we enjoy their company and most have perfect manners — except they never leave a tip. Our daughters claim that no one of their age group (early twenties) carries cash and that even if they remind their guests

Dear Mary: How do I stop a dinner guest double-dipping?

From our UK edition

Q. During lockdown I made good friends with a neighbour who I would never have met otherwise. This man lives so close that he now regularly comes to informal dinners at our house. Unfortunately he has a habit of ‘double dipping’ his used fork into jars of redcurrant jelly, mustard, whatever — even though I

Dear Mary: should I have asked out my rush-hour crush?

From our UK edition

Q. On a train journey the other day I sat opposite someone I found immensely attractive. We struck up a conversation and talked for 40 minutes until he left the train, a few stops before my own destination. I am 90 per cent sure he returned my feelings, but he was rather a shy man

Dear Mary: How do I get rid of my terrible cleaner?

From our UK edition

Q. I have recently become a widow. Since my son is away at university, I had the idea of charging a modest rate to informally rent out his bedroom to friends and friends of friends who happen to need a bed in the city for a night. I include dinner and breakfast in the rate

Dear Mary: how can I improve a friend’s appalling table manners?

From our UK edition

Q. I recently attended a wedding which was (for me) quite ‘grand’, with a church ceremony followed by a reception. I cleared my diary for the weekend. The wedding, in Exeter, was organised by wedding planners who inundated me with pieces of paper and emails about the logistics, but on arriving at the church and

Top dog: how have animals captured politics?

From our UK edition

34 min listen

On this week’s episode: should animal lives be considered as valuable as human lives? It’s often said that Britain is a country of animal lovers, but have we taken it too far? Pen Farthing’s evacuation has shown how some people value animal lives more than human lives. William Moore writes our cover piece this week,