Mark Wood

‘He’s interested in creative writing, so he’s going to take a course in AI.’

‘You know I hate public displays of affection when I don’t have my phone ready.’

‘A is for anxiety, B is for borderline personality disorder, C is for cognitive behaviour therapy…’

‘Don’t call him a bad dog, think about his mental health.’

‘Sermon? No, I’m writing my podcast.’

‘I’m sorry to interrupt, but that’s a really interesting conversation. Have you considered starting a podcast?’

‘I’m going back to work at home. The coffee shop politics have become unbearable.’

‘He’s waiting for Labour to build more houses.’

‘The naughty step now and think about your toxic masculinity.’

‘Will you spend the rest of your lives with me in a house share?’

‘He’s multitasking.’

Pandora’s box

‘Now can I have one without your phones?’

‘I identify more with social media.’