Mark Wood

‘To hit Labour’s target, you need to build 2.5 houses every minute.’

‘It was affecting their mental health, so I’ve had to rewrite history.’

‘It was a compromise to get him back in the office.’

‘Can I go back to doom-scrolling, Mum?’

‘If Labour ring, tell them we’re out.’

‘I’m worried about him. He has imaginary listeners.’

‘These spin-offs are never so good.’

‘How did students find the time to enjoy the university experience without AI?’

‘This is our forever home, so his bedroom is big enough for a 35-year-old.’

‘Definitely not. Property prices, the prisons, water rates – it gives me anxiety.’

‘Jason is a writer, too. He has an ebook available for instant download to his followers.’

‘Since we moved into wellness, I feel great.’

‘... and remember – no biscuits, no sweets or anything gender specific.’