KJ Lamb

‘Would you mind if some students watch while I deliver your presents?’

‘I’m afraid his problem has deteriorated from “poor” to “prime ministerial”.’

Munch’s ‘The Screen’

‘Your blood pressure isn’t raised at all — what’s wrong with you?’

‘The following programme about the energy crisis contains no lights, flashing or otherwise.’

‘More of the same?’

‘Everything all right without the food, sir?’

‘Do you have confidence booster jabs?’

‘I’ll bet you anything he’s addicted to gambling.’

‘Seethe levels are rising.’

‘I’m worried that I bore people.’

‘It didn’t help that you took photos of the apple and posted them on Instagram.’

‘He’s willing to go the extra air mile.’

‘Ooh — so does this mean we can stop hugging people again?’