KJ Lamb

‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?’

And what job do you want to be signed off with stress from when you’re older?’

‘I think we need to look at the bigger picture.’

‘What if his first word is a hate crime?’

You failed history again?

‘Today we made cards for those who identify as “mother”.’

‘An enormous deficit for your thoughts?’

‘What would go well with a range of food intolerances?’

‘Well, must get on, this book on the paranormal won’t write itself.’

‘Run along and lay.’

‘We don’t want to give him unrealistic expectations.’

‘He can’t play – it’s triggering his fears about climate change.’

‘What do you recommend to go with failing Dry January?’

‘And were your troubled minds seized by a) mighty dread; b) mild concern; c) neither?’

‘Hi guys! Come in and meet the gang!’

‘I’m letting you off with a warning.’