Kipper Williams

‘Chin up, Methuselah – the state pension can’t be far off.’

‘He’s incredibly disciplined – he doesn’t vape for 36 hours at the start of each week.’

‘No more for me, I’m starting to feel smug.’

‘I think we’ve let it rest enough.’

‘I know how they feel.’

‘They’ve sent us Oliver Dowden.’

‘Where were you the first time anybody asked where you were the day Kennedy died?’

‘How was I?’

‘The heat pump works OK – it just needs a bit of back-up.’

‘Because it’s the only way I’ll get into the Garrick...’

‘She swears like an education secretary.’

‘Up a bit...’