Tuck shop
Kipper Williams
Wednesday
Wednesday
The Garrick club
‘If I’d known this was going to happen, I wouldn’t have bothered with the gender-reassignment surgery.’
Wednesday
Treat myself
‘I’m going to treat myself to Garrick membership’
Wednesday
Tuesday
What IS a woman?
‘What IS a woman?’
Thursday
Wednesday
Left at the Turkish barber
‘Left at the Turkish barber, right at the Turkish barber, cross the road at the Turkish barber...’
Wednesday
You must feel terribly isolated in the Conservative party
‘You must feel terribly isolated in the Conservative party.’
Wednesday
Chin up, Methuselah
‘Chin up, Methuselah – the state pension can’t be far off.’
Stay clear
‘Stay clear of Piers Morgan.’
Wednesday
He’s incredibly disciplined
‘He’s incredibly disciplined – he doesn’t vape for 36 hours at the start of each week.’
I’m only fasting
‘I’m only fasting so I’ll have more soup to throw at the Mona Lisa.’
Wednesday
No more for me
‘No more for me, I’m starting to feel smug.’
Wednesday
We’ve let it rest enough
‘I think we’ve let it rest enough.’
Friday
How they feel
‘I know how they feel.’
Thursday
Wednesday
Oliver Dowden
‘They’ve sent us Oliver Dowden.’
