Kipper Williams

‘I’ve abandoned the Church of England and become a fully-fledged disciple of Le Creuset.’

‘Old MacDonald had a farm...’

‘We’re here to spook the markets.’

‘We’ll use the money we saved taking him out of private school to pay the fines for taking him out of state school.’

‘It’s to block phone calls from Nigel Farage.’

‘They ought to axe hereditary peers to ease House of Lords overcrowding.’

‘I trust I can rely on your sympathy.’

‘All political careers end in failure, but this is getting out of hand.’

‘At last – a safe seat.’

‘If I put my mind to it, I can boycott 500 literary festivals a day.’

‘It’s €5 to get in and €50 to get out’