Let’s renounce something everyone’s forgotten
‘Let’s renounce something everyone’s forgotten.’
Grizelda
Wednesday
He can’t think of any content to generate
‘He can’t think of any content to generate.’
Thursday
What ideologies did you learn at school today?
‘What ideologies did you learn at school today?’
We think you might be our son’s teacher
‘We think you might be our son’s teacher.’
Wednesday
Censoring first words
‘Oh look! He’s censoring his first words.’
Wednesday
It’s good to see him staying economically active
‘It’s good to see him staying economically active.’
At least someone’s enjoying our sovereignty
‘At least someone’s enjoying our sovereignty.’
Wednesday
You can’t afford money any more
‘I’m afraid you can’t afford money any more.’
Robust working practices
‘Stop employing robust working practices.’
Wednesday
The public are demanding minimum service levels
‘The public are demanding minimum service levels.’
Wednesday
My diet is working
‘Oh god! My diet is working! I’ll have to carry on with it.’
Wednesday
Hiring more Horsemen of the Apocalypse
‘We’re hiring more Horsemen of the Apocalypse.’
What hope are you giving up this year?
‘What hope are you giving up this year?’
Air opinions
‘Good news, everyone. Derek’s agreed not to air any opinions.’
Monday
Upsetting the markets
‘You’re upsetting the markets.’
We get to pick one Christmas argument each
‘We get to pick one Christmas argument each.’
Friday
We had to switch it off
‘We had to switch it off.’
Wednesday
At least you were poor already
‘It’s all right for you – at least you were poor already.’
I’ve made the children become vegans
‘I’ve made the children become vegans so that we don’t have to.’
Wednesday
We’ve cut down on non-essentials
‘We’ve cut down on non-essentials, like children.’
