It’s a “Tory voter under the age of 25”
‘It’s a “Tory voter under the age of 25”.’
Grizelda
Wednesday
These are all the awards I won running in the women’s category
‘These are all the awards I won running in the women’s category.’
Wednesday
He suddenly keeled over
‘There he was, happily slagging off Putin, when he suddenly keeled over.’
Do you have to be your true authentic self
‘Do you have to be your true, authentic self in the office?’
Wednesday
You need to leave
‘I’m sorry darling, but the diversity, equity and inclusion officer says you need to leave.’
Wednesday
There’s someone even more unpopular than us!
‘Good news! There’s someone even more unpopular than us!’
Dog whistles
‘I don’t answer to dog whistles, bigot!’
Wednesday
Have you been on social media again?
‘Have you been on social media again?’
Wednesday
Other people like him
‘Oh God! He’s going to discover other people like him.’
The return of Trump
‘How are you coping with the return of Trump?’
Wednesday
We don’t need to say anything
‘We don’t need to say anything.’
Wednesday
Hold the front page!
‘Hold the front page!’
I was only creating orders
‘I was only creating orders.’
Wednesday
Please stop tearing up the post
‘I know you’re angry, but please stop tearing up the post.’
Wednesday
Friday
Nice opinion poll
‘I’d like a nice opinion poll for Christmas.’
What’s happening?
‘Oh no! What’s happening in the Middle East now?!’
Wednesday
I love showing restraint
‘I love showing restraint in other people’s pay.’
Opened a Twitter account
‘Goodness! He only opened a Twitter account last Wednesday.’