Pretend
‘So, what do you pretend to believe in?’
‘I used to be a shy Tory – now I’m a really embarrassed one.’
‘Do you have any political opinions we can mock?’
‘I’m worried we’re not being annoying enough.’
‘Oh no! We can’t burn them as they’ll produce harmful CO2.’
‘Quick! Let’s virtue-signal to gain the kids’ approval.’
‘A lot of people have chosen this hill to die on’
‘OK, let’s hear from the verified people first.’
Make your mark
‘Steve’s thinking of accepting the results of the 2016 Brexit referendum.’
‘We’re looking for people to stand as Conservatives.’
‘Stop being so toxic.’
‘Today in class I’m going to commit a non-hate crime incident.’
‘Good news! Things haven’t got even worse yet’
‘Does anyone have a slogan they’d like to shout out?’
‘Come outside and say that... in a new podcast with me.’
‘Disagreeing with me is a hate crime!’
‘What did you get offended by at school today...?’
‘The night-time economy is not what it was.’