How rich we could have been
‘Just think how rich we could have been if only you’d been corrupt.’
Grizelda
Thursday
This is your first parents’ evening, isn’t it?
‘This is your first parents’ evening, isn’t it?’
Thursday
Russian sanctions
‘Russian sanctions are hitting the Tories hard.’
Thursday
We’re looking for someone to be offended by
‘We’re looking for someone to be offended by.’
Thursday
7 per cent more expensive
‘Can you please stop being 7 per cent more expensive than you were last year?’
Thursday
Come back in the past
‘We have nothing affordable. Can you come back in the past?’
Thursday
Same old gender
‘Yes we’re keeping well thanks. Same old gender.’
Thursday
Should we take that down?
‘Should we take that down?’
Deliberately evil
‘We were deliberately evil on Earth so we could get away somewhere hot.’
Thursday
Look at the terrible things they’re saying about me
‘Look at the terrible things they’re saying about me.’
We’re going to pretend
‘We’re going to pretend to have Covid this Christmas.’
Roaring fire
‘Isn’t it nice to be around a roaring fire at Christmas…?’
Don’t celebrate Christmas
‘Don’t celebrate Christmas.’
It’s our levelling up agenda
‘It’s our levelling up agenda.’
Thursday
Both sides of the debate
‘In the interests of balance, we’re going to hear “both sides” of the debate.’
Thursday
It’s my democratic right
‘It’s my democratic right to vote for a sleazy MP!’
Thursday
Thursday
Monty has turned us into dog people
‘I’m sorry Tibbles, but Monty has turned us into dog people.’
Any other bores
‘Any other bores?’
Coronavirus graph
‘And here we have my favourite coronavirus graph.’