Freddy Gray

IT’S WAR! IN CAPITAL LETTERS! At least, on Twitter it is — just as recovering social media addicts dared to hope that things might be settling for the summer. Donald Trump last night threatened Iran with ‘CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED.’ This was in response to President Hassan Rouhani's warning of a 'mother of all wars.' Whatever happened to Teddy Roosevelt’s ‘speak softly and carry a big stick’ approach to US diplomacy? With Trump, it seems to be ‘TWEET VIOLENTLY ABOUT THE SIZE OF YOUR STICK.’ Of course, it’s ‘fire and fury’ all over again.

PART I President Donald Trump is less than impressed with Theresa May's Brexit plan, it seems. ‘I’m not sure that’s what they voted for,' he says. But how would he do Brexit? Boris Johnson said recently ‘Imagine Trump doing Brexit — what would he do. There’d be all sorts of breakdowns, all sorts of chaos. Everyone would think that he’d gone mad. But you might actually get somewhere.’ Well, let’s imagine ... June 24, 2016 5 a.m. The votes are in and Britain has elected to leave the European Union. Prime Minister Trump leaves Downing Street and calls a special press conference at his golf course, Turnberry, in Scotland. 7.15 a.m. The Prime Minister arrives by helicopter and puts on a Make Turnberry Great Again baseball cap.

Don’t say you weren’t warned. Ahead of the Nato summit in Brussels today, Donald Trump had spent the last two days tweeting about the iniquity of Nato and the trade deficits between the EU and his country. He had singled out Germany for not contributing enough to Nato’s defence budget, and three times mentioned a $151bn trade deficit figure with Europe. Sure enough, at this morning’s opening breakfast, he came out all rhetorical guns blazing, and then posted a clip of himself with all rhetorical guns blazing on Twitter. https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1016956445307400193?

Uh oh – Poor Theresa.  You know that when Donald Trump, the most powerful man in the world, tells the media that you and he have a ‘very good relationship’, it means he doesn’t like you at all. It’s what he said about Theresa May this morning, just before he left for Europe. It’s also what he says about Justin Trudeau (‘good relationship’), Angela Merkel ('really great relationship’),  Mitch McConnell ('relationship is very good') and even Barack Obama (‘very good relationship’). In fact, in Trump-speak, ‘very good relationship’ means ‘I can’t stand him/her.’ Boris Johnson is a different matter. ‘Boris Johnson is a friend of mine,’ said the President this morning.

Trump says he likes things ‘nice and complicated’ – well, in that case, he couldn’t be coming to Britain at a better time. Theresa May’s newly hatched soft Brexit plan, announced on Friday, has triggered two major resignations from her cabinet and another political crisis in Britain. David Davis, the Brexit Secretary, went late last night. Then Boris Johnson, the Foreign Secretary followed early this afternoon. Westminster is now alive with whispers of an imminent leadership coup; the Tory party looks hopelessly divided, the political system unable to cope. We may even have another general election, the third in four years.   Enter Trump, stage right. He must be licking his lips.

‘Imagine Trump doing Brexit — what would he do?’ asked the Foreign Secretary, Boris Johnson, at that dinner which was recorded and leaked to Buzzfeed. ‘There’d be all sorts of breakdowns, all sorts of chaos. Everyone would think that he’d gone mad. But you might actually get somewhere.’ Well, let’s imagine. What follows, brought to you by Destiny Media, is Part I of how Prime Minister Donald J. Trump might negotiate and tweet his way through Britain’s withdrawal from the European Union. June 24, 2016 5 a.m. The votes are in and Britain has elected to leave the European Union. Prime Minister Trump leaves Downing Street and calls a special press conference at his golf course, Turnberry, in Scotland. 7.15 a.m.