Chas Newkey-Burden

Chas Newkey-Burden is co-author, with Julie Burchill, of Not In My Name: A Compendium of Modern Hypocrisy

Am I the only one who misses lockdown?

Five years ago tonight, Boris Johnson told us we were going into lockdown. In the run-up to the anniversary of that historic moment, lots of people have shuddered as they remembered the boredom, frustration and horror of that strange time when we were only allowed to leave the house once a day. Me? I’ve been

‘Airport theory’ is the worst TikTok trend yet

For me, even the thought of running late for a flight is absolutely blood-curdling. The prospect of sweating it out in the back of a cab, with red traffic lights and zebra crossings conspiring against me as the clock ticks down, seems like torture. I’d rather miss a bin collection day.  Thanks to TikTok, people

Vegans shouldn’t be afraid of condemning Halal slaughter

An animal rights activist has exposed extreme cruelty at a slaughterhouse in Arley, Warwickshire. Joey Carbstrong’s secretly recorded footage shows staff slamming sheep hard onto concrete floors, dismembering sheep while they are still alive and playing recordings of wolves to the terrified animals as they were dying. The shock here is not just the cruelty itself: repeated

Why are we such swine to pigs?

We all know the nursery rhyme about “this little piggy”: one little piggy went to market, one little piggy stayed home and so on. A modern rewrite could also include the little piggy that got injected into a rich man’s body. The “super-rich” are using pigs brains to try and “biohack their way to immortality,”

Is ‘catch and release’ fishing really ethical?

Ask anyone if they think that cruelty to animals is OK and they’ll say no – but are they being truthful? If they eat meat, they’ll insist that the meat they eat is ‘high-welfare’, but 85 per cent of the UK’s farmed animals endured their shortened lives on brutal factory farms, so nearly everyone who

A crackdown on lying in politics could backfire

How do you know a politician is lying? Their lips are moving. We’ve all heard the joke. Even in these horribly divided times, there’s one belief that still unites the fractured British public: politicians can’t be trusted. So a plan hatched in Wales last summer to make lying in politics a criminal offence has proved

Blame vegans for the ‘anti-vegan backlash’

Is the vegan revolution over? An “anti-vegan backlash” has “made Britain fall back in love with meat,” according to the Daily Telegraph. Studies have found that 18-24 year olds in the UK increased their meat intake in 2024, sales of fake meats are falling and vegan restaurants are closing their doors. It’s not just about putting

Soap operas have lost the plot

Soap bombshells are nothing new, but the land of light TV entertainment was rocked by some real-life drama this week: ITV announced that Coronation Street and Emmerdale will be cutting back on episodes permanently next year. It was also revealed that viewing figures for EastEnders have plummeted from 30 million at its 1980s peak, to just four million. As one of

In defence of Slough

In the 1930s, Sir John Betjeman wrote a poem calling for bombs to fall on it, in 2001 David Brent poked fun at it in The Office and in 2024, the Telegraph named it the UK’s ‘ugliest town’. Now, it’s been branded as ‘the unhappiest place to live’ on Rightmove. Times change and public attitudes evolve, but everyone seems to

The truth about ‘stupid’ footballers

I’ll always remember a conversation I had with someone just after I’d interviewed the footballer Frank Lampard. ‘What was he like? I bet he was as thick as mince,’ they said. The reality was rather different: the former Chelsea captain was a thoughtful, intelligent and beautifully well-mannered man. Footballers: ‘super clever’? This will shock some,

Starbucks and the hell of the modern café

Starbucks has announced that it is reversing its rule that allowed people to hang round in cafés in the United States even if they’d not bought anything. From 27 January, Americans will have to buy something or leave. Some people think that’s a bit harsh but it doesn’t go far enough: there are also plenty

What’s wrong with being a judgemental vegan?

Veganuary is with us again, the annual reminder that veganism is now mainstream. But us steak-dodgers still face a fair bit of curiosity and scepticism about our lifestyle choice. One question is particularly familiar: ‘Oh, but I hope you’re not a preachy, judgemental vegan?’ we’re asked. Well, it’s funny you should ask because that that’s

Who’d want to survive a nuclear war?

The conflicts in Ukraine and the Middle East keep raging, Vladimir Putin has lowered the threshold required for Moscow to nuke Europe and Donald Trump is shadowboxing ahead of his return to the ring. You’d need almost divine reserves of Zen to not worry about where all this is heading. Some people are really worried:

The cruelty of horse racing is becoming impossible to ignore

After three horses died at Cheltenham on Sunday, the reaction was depressingly predictable. The cameras cut away and the horse racing industry pretended to be shocked and upset that more horses had died on its watch. Abuffalosoldier and Bangers And Cash – two of the horses who died at Cheltenham – appear to have suffered heart

Calm down, most cows aren’t ‘killers’

There must be carnage in the countryside. That’s the only explanation for a stampede of anxious headlines about the danger of cows. ‘Are these the UK’s most dangerous animals,’ asked the front page of the Guardian this week alongside a picture of a bemused bovine. The Daily Star was at it too: the paper called