Bernie

‘We’re down to the last two Conservative voters – we could get them to breed but there isn’t time.’

‘You don’t often see one of those in Scotland.’

‘She’s like Liz Truss in reverse.’

‘Sending them to Scotland would be a deterrent.’

‘I’m sleeping rough as much as I can before they criminalise it.’

‘I’m escaping from an oppressive regime.’

‘I only converted to help my asylum claim but then things snowballed.’

‘I’m appointing you “chief fundraiser, unpaid”.’

‘Lots of nasty things are making a comeback. Measles, rickets, George Galloway...’

‘She’ll try anything!’

Do you have alcohol-free?

‘No vapes? I’ll just take those knives then.’

‘Do you know we could earn this much being junior doctors?’

‘Just speeding up the compensation process.’

‘The police were very good. They arrived within minutes and said there was nothing they could do.’

‘The wise men departed unto their own country another way.’