A J Singleton

‘Talk about trendy – the food here is served on bits of wood.’

‘I suppose this means he’ll be working from home…’

‘And they do say that on a clear day you can see a doctor.’

‘Fortunately Mr Putin is going to cut us off.’

‘And they do say on a clear day you can see your GP...’

‘A tenner for your thoughts...’

‘You’ll never believe what my house is worth’

‘Probably because of all the parties next door...’

‘I keep having this dream where I’m wafer thin...’

‘There’s one in every party — we can’t get him to leave…’

‘What are you like at replacing cladding?’

‘That’s all we need at this time of year — more cold turkey.’