Lockdown

Thursday

Mary Killen

Dear Mary: How can I self-isolate without people bothering me on Zoom?

Q. Caught in Switzerland as the ski resort shut down around my ears, and feeling like a walking health hazard, I returned to Somerset to begin splendid isolation days before it became fashionable or mandatory. I’ve been getting loads of jobs done, and the dog is happier than ever, but my peace is being perforated by London friends — the sort who associate solitude with boredom — inviting me to virtual dinner parties on Zoom at a set time with the inescapable tagline ‘we know that you have no other engagements’. After a busy day out in the garden, all I want to do is settle by the log burner

Susan Hill Susan Hill

The online museums you’ll never want to leave

‘We don’t talk about the war.’ Yet those of my generation and older reference it daily. The coronavirus is an unseen enemy but for every-one not in military service, so were our past enemies — Germany, Italy, Japan, Russia — invisible mainly because the mainland was never physically invaded by any of them, so the only sightings were on the newsreels. All we can see of the virus is that horrible furry ball with round-ended spikes sticking out of it, which is what it looks like under a microscope, but this is still a war, the same as any other. We were not actually quarantined then but travel was both

Rory Sutherland Rory Sutherland

My Japanese toilet has made me a lockdown hero

Compared with every other household chore, progress in bum-wiping has been glacially slow. It’s only in living memory that schools and institutions stopped using something called Izal, a box of medicated toilet wipes similar in texture to greaseproof paper, and thus spectacularly ill-suited to its purpose. It was characteristic of the Britain of my childhood, where things were made gratuitously unpleasant on purpose, since to do anything nice was seen as effeminate. The Muslim world is far ahead of us here. In most Islamic countries a toilet cubicle comes with a bum gun — a kind of handheld spray. Yet in the supposedly enlightened Anglophone world we think dry paper

Tuesday

James Forsyth

Raab stands in for Boris – but he can’t take the biggest decision of all

Dominic Raab is a lawyer, not a doctor, by temperament as well as training. He is not a politician who talks about his feelings much. This made it all the more striking to hear him talking about Boris Johnson as a ‘friend’, and his hopes for his recovery. The reassuring news is that Boris Johnson’s condition is stable and he hasn’t required a ventilator. Raab faced a barrage of questions about how him deputising for Boris Johnson will actually work Understandably, Raab faced a barrage of questions about how him deputising for Boris Johnson will actually work. Raab emphasised Cabinet collective responsibility and how they were implementing the plans that

Alex Massie Alex Massie

A note to fellow lockdown lethargics

Strange times, these. Dull and unsettling in equal measure. Much of life feels as though it is stuck in some interminable holding pattern, waiting for permission to land and move on. The days drag, even for those of us accustomed to working from home. But the city is a dreary place, for now, stripped of most of its conveniences and opportunities.  Worse still, there are professional problems. This is a game in which you’re always supposed to have a view and the hotter it is the better. Incentives favour certainty; if in doubt double down on your lack of doubt. Bets should not be hedged; everything is a triumph or

Monday

Robert Peston

What will a coronavirus ‘exit strategy’ look like?

At the daily press briefings of senior ministers, the medical and the scientific advisers, there is a reluctance to talk about a timescale for an ‘exit strategy’ from these unprecedentedly severe restrictions on our freedom to move around and see people – and even to discuss what that strategy might look like. The understandable priority is to get us to commit wholeheartedly to the surrender of these basic rights so that the incidence of the virus can be slashed and many lives can be saved. Among the senior medical and scientific advisers, who seem to be steering pretty much everything right now, any initiatives that aren’t about immediate virus suppression

Saturday

Jeremy Clarke

Had the entire village population been wiped out since last week?

With my signed and dated laissez-passer in my pocket, I trotted down to the village to see if I could buy anything to eat, drink or smoke. A sensation of being out and about in the world was also high on the agenda. Cycling and jogging earns you a fine, of which a quarter of a million have been doled out in a fortnight. But we are permitted to walk the dog for one kilometre, or 546 yards there and 546 yards back. We cheat a bit, Catriona and I, by taking the dog separately, meaning she gets two walks a day. She’s elderly and frail, the poor bewildered thing,

Wednesday

James Forsyth

The worrying surge in Universal Credit claims

Wednesday evening’s figures for new claims for Universal Credit are sobering and a reminder of the economic – and moral – consequences of the shuttering of huge swathes of the economy. Despite the government offering to pay 80 per cent of the wages of furloughed workers, 850,000 more people than usual have applied for Universal Credit in the past fortnight. Right now, the shutdown is, I think, justified by the fact that it is the least worst way of preventing hospitals from being overwhelmed and the number of coronavirus deaths increasing to ever more horrific levels. But no one who backs the current policy should pretend that it doesn’t come at its own

Monday

Johnny Ray

8 wine delivery services to use during lockdown

Not only are the supermarkets running out of bread, bananas and bog roll, the wine is taking a pounding too. And if you want anything delivered, well, good luck with that. Early May is probably the soonest you’ll get a slot. Let us wine lovers thank heavens, then, that the independents are showing true Blitz spirit and are delivering across the UK every day during these strange times. Tom Ashworth of Yapp Bros tells me that they’re up 200 per cent on this week last year and are busier in the warehouse than they were at Christmas. Tom Cave of Berry Bros & Rudd reports a brisk trade in consumers

Friday

Julia Hartley-Brewer

How to avoid a lockdown divorce

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, the coronavirus pandemic now provides us with the ideal conditions to test whether the opposite is equally true: does being cooped up together in a small space for a long period of time also do the same? I think we all know the answer to that one. It will come as no surprise to any married couple – happy or otherwise – that the Chinese city of Wuhan, epicentre of the coronavirus outbreak, has seen a large spike in divorce cases after couples escaped from a month’s quarantine. So, as millions of families across Britain embark on weeks, and possibly even

Wednesday

Spectator Life

The virtual pub: how to share a digital pint with your friends

The coronavirus lockdown means we’re under strict orders from the Prime Minister not to head down to our local for a pint and to avoid social get togethers wherever possible. So why not start a new trend and share a digital drink with your friends? Here’s how to pull it off: 1. Get online Google Hangouts is great for group video calls, as is Zoom (free for the first 45 minutes) or, if you have access to it through work, Microsoft Teams. New app Houseparty is also a popular choice with young people and has been picking up users very quickly since lockdown was announced. Simply agree a time, send

Monday

Rachel Wait

7 ways to save money while you self-isolate

If you need to self-isolate in the coming days or weeks due to the coronavirus outbreak, you may find yourself running out of ways to keep yourself occupied. In which case, it could be a good opportunity to go through your finances and potentially put some money back in your pocket. Here are some ways to do just that. Go through your bank statements It might not sound particularly thrilling, but you’ll be surprised by what you find if you take the time to read through your bank statements. For instance, do you know exactly how much you spend on food bills, socialising or subscriptions each month? Are you aware