Jeremy clarkson

Thursday

Alexander Chancellor

The Lord’s Prayer is no more offensive than Jeremy Clarkson or deodorant

There was a time not so very long ago when the most common complaint about Christmas was that it had become too commercial and that its Christian significance was being forgotten. Since then the decline in religious belief in Britain has grown so much that the secularity of Christmas is taken for granted. It is effectively a pagan festival now. According to the Church of England, only about one million people, or around two per cent of the population, still attend church on Sundays (though about twice that number do so on Christmas Day). The Church is in a bad way, and it is only natural that it should seek,

Thursday

Rod Liddle

Why emote about migrants during a concert?

How should we deal with people who sneeze in public places? Stephen Jackson, aged 49, has found himself in court as a consequence of taking direct action against those people who are kind enough to share their nasal mucus with the rest of us. Stephen’s answer is usually to slap the offender across the head and say: ‘Don’t sneeze in front of me.’ He will be sentenced in a couple of weeks on four similar charges of assault, the victims all being people who sneezed when he was nearby. There was one other charge, mind, which involved spitting at a baby in its pram. Now, it may well be that

Monday

Steerpike

Jeremy Clarkson completes final lap of Top Gear test track

Earlier this year Mr S reported how Jeremy Clarkson got on stage at a glitzy charity auction and told the audience that the BBC were ‘f—ing b—–ds’. Happily, during the expletive-filled rant over his Top Gear suspension he also managed to raise £100,000 for the Roundhouse arts charity by offering attendees the chance to join him for his last lap around the Top Gear test track: ‘I’ll drive somebody around in whatever I can get hold of, I’m sacked so it’s probably a Nissan Maestro. But anyway it will be my last ever lap of the Top Gear test drive. There was an 18 year waiting list to be in the audience

Wednesday

Steerpike

Coffee Shots: Jeremy Clarkson is back on the BBC

Last night Chris Evans was announced as Jeremy Clarkson’s Top Gear successor, following Clarkson’s fracas with a BBC producer. However, this doesn’t mean Clarkson won’t be appearing on the BBC anytime soon. In fact, despite previously calling those at the corporation ‘f—ing b—–ds’, Clarkson has already made a star appearance on BBC2 this lunchtime as part of their tennis coverage. Clearly not too downhearted by Evans’ appointment, the former Top Gear presenter decided to use his free time to take in some tennis at Queen’s. This led to some scintillating commentary from the BBC tennis pundits as they tried to avoid the topic of Clarkson’s untimely departure: Andrew Cotter: Big names here

Tuesday

Steerpike

Chris Evans performs U-turn over Top Gear job

After Jeremy Clarkson was suspended from Top Gear following a fracas with a show producer, reports soon emerged claiming Chris Evans would be his replacement. However, the radio host was quick to ‘categorically’ deny these reports: While Mr S had been more than happy to ‘discount’ his candidacy, it turns out that Evans should really never say never. The BBC have announced today that Evans is in fact Clarkson’s successor. He confirmed the news in a statement: ‘I’m thrilled, Top Gear is my favourite programme of all time. Created by a host of brilliant minds who love cars and understand how to make the massively complicated come across as fun, devil-may-care and effortless. When in fact of

Monday

Steerpike

Jeremy Clarkson returns to the BBC to work on Top Gear

After Jeremy Clarkson was suspended by the BBC over an alleged fracas with a Top Gear producer, the presenter got on stage at a charity bash and told the audience that the BBC were ‘f—ing b—–ds’. Clarkson was later sacked and the corporation went to such lengths to erase the memory of the presenter from their channels that they pixelated his face in an episode of W1A. So Mr S was glad to hear that relations are now more amiable. The BBC have confirmed reports today that Clarkson recently undertook new work for the BBC, recording a voiceover for a final Top Gear special: ‘He has done the voiceover for Top Gear. He came

Wednesday

Steerpike

Coffee Shots: Simon Burns or Robert Redford?

Harriet Harman was on fighting form in Parliament today when she responded to the Queen’s Speech. Between telling David Cameron to watch his back for Tory leadership hopeful Boris Johnson and remembering the Ed Stone, Harman paid tribute to Simon Burns, who gave the first speech. Speaking about the Tory MP, she revealed that in his heyday he was something of a ladies man who ‘cut quite a dash’ back in the 1980s. In fact, she likened him to a young Robert Redford. Alas, Harman concluded that Burns now bears more of a resemblance to Jeremy Clarkson than the Hollywood star. No word on whether Burns thinks Harman’s looks have stood the test of time.

Wednesday

Steerpike

Jeremy Clarkson and James May take to the road after TV talks

After Jeremy Clarkson was sacked from Top Gear, his fellow presenters James May and Richard Hammond resigned in protest. Since then, the trio have been spotted together over the past few weeks having ‘secret talks’ about their futures, with the pair reportedly visiting the home of ITV director Peter Fincham. Now Mr S hears that with talks for a new show under way, Clarkson and May are once again doing what they do best: driving around in fast cars. Steerpike’s mole spied the pair roaring around Covent Garden in a rather fancy sports car on Tuesday evening: ‘Clarkson and May were speeding around Covent Garden with Clarkson in the drivers’ seat. It certainly didn’t

Thursday

James Walton

Target practice

Ever since the days of Tony Hancock, many of the best British sitcoms — from Dad’s Army to Fawlty Towers, Rising Damp to The Royle Family — have featured a middle-aged man convinced that he’s the only sane person left in an increasingly mad world. The frankly subversive twist in W1A (BBC2, Thursday) is that the middle-aged man in question might well be right. As the BBC’s Head of Values, Ian Fletcher (Hugh Bonneville) is surrounded by any number of jargon-spouting younger colleagues whose apparent aim is not to let anybody realise how stupid they are — or at least it would be if they realised it themselves. Head of

Tuesday

Julie Burchill

Meet the Cry-Bully: a hideous hybrid of victim and victor

In the 1970s, there was a big difference between bullies and cry-babies. Your mum would have preferred you to hang around with the latter, but sometimes the former had a twisted charisma so strong that you found yourself joining in the taunts of ‘Onion Head! ’ at some poor unfortunate creature sporting a cranium of a somewhat allium caste. After a bit, of course, if you had anything about you, you realized what a knob you were being and went off to sample the more solitary, civilized pleasures of shoplifting and reading Oscar Wilde with the bedroom curtains closed. But you could be certain, as you festered in your pilfered

Tuesday

Steerpike

Jeremy Clarkson causes more problems for the BBC

The BBC appeared to have put an end to their Jeremy Clarkson woes when they made the decision not to renew his contract following a ‘fracas’ between the Top Gear presenter and a show producer. Despite this, the Clarkson saga continues to cast a shadow on the corporation. The presenter’s untimely departure has meant that the producers of the BBC mockumentary W1A have had to re-edit a series plotline. Hugh Bonneville, who plays the BBC’s head of values in the series which airs next week, admits that they had to ‘tweak the voice-over’ to keep up with events. A plotline written before the incident saw Clarkson get the BBC in trouble by writing an

Thursday

Molly Guinness

Jeffrey Bernard and Jeremy Clarkson would have understood each other

A lot of people seem to have confused the fact that Jeremy Clarkson is right wing and amusing (which they believe is at odds with the culture of the BBC) with the fact that he’s shown himself to be a brute (which is why he’s been sacked). The investigation into his attack on Oisin Tymon is pretty unequivocal. It was unprovoked and lasted more than 30 seconds until someone else intervened, and there was a lot of nasty verbal abuse thrown in for good measure. Tymon went to hospital afterwards to get his injuries checked out. Rather magnificently, he didn’t offer any resistance to Clarkson’s assault. The Duke of Cambridge

Kate Maltby Kate Maltby

Today’s reburial wasn’t about Richard III. It was about Benedict Cumberbatch

We should have known it. Today’s reburial isn’t about Richard III. It’s about Benedict Cumberbatch. Isn’t everything these days, somehow about Benedict Cumberbatch? I have a theory that he’s the one who really punched Oisin Tymon, and poor Clarkson is just taking the rap. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard III, both cruelly maligned blokes. They’ll be banning nepoticide at the BBC next. But back to The Batch. An hour ago, Cumberbatch popped up as the star attraction at the Richard III’s reinternment at Leicester Cathedral, to read a poem newly written for the service by poet laureate Carol Anne Duffy. This whole affair is beginning to feel uncomfortably like a Narnia reenactment

Taki

Make no mistake: the Top Gear brouhaha is cultural warfare

It’s a famous quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald, one that Elton John should ponder (when he’s not out shopping, that is): ‘The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function.’ Mind you, Elton John is a hysterical, spoilt, ugly fat man who thinks his opinions count. (Perhaps they do with non-talents such as Liz Hurley and Victoria Beckham.) I now know who Dolce & Gabbana are because of the row over children conceived by IVF and surrogacy, and they seem like nice billionaires, except they threw in the towel right away

Wednesday

Steerpike

Is Rupert Murdoch eyeing up Jeremy Clarkson now the ‘stupid’ BBC has fired him?

Last week Mr S reported how Jeremy Clarkson took to the stage at a charity event and called the BBC a bunch of ‘f—ing b—–ds’. He may well be uttering those words again today after Lord Hall released a statement saying that the BBC will not be requiring the Top Gear host’s services any more following Clarkson’s ‘fracas’ with one of the show producers. The BBC Director-General says that it is ‘with great regret’  that the corporation will not be keeping Clarkson on as a Top Gear host: ‘It is with great regret that I have told Jeremy Clarkson today that the BBC will not be renewing his contract. It is not a

Rod Liddle Rod Liddle

The real reason Jeremy Clarkson’s gone? The BBC loathed his politics

I still don’t know which way John Humphrys votes and I’ve been a friend of the chap for more than a quarter of a century. Hell, we’ve been on holiday together, twice. I have very few friends in mediaville, but John is certainly one, and the oldest friend within that milieu, at that. But I still couldn’t tell you what way he votes. That fact alone might well signal to you that he tends to the Right; liberals are so unstintingly forthcoming about their fatuous opinions, so ready to declaim and shriek and disparage anyone who might dare gainsay them. But even then I wouldn’t be too sure. It’s probably

Friday

Steerpike

Jeremy Clarkson rants about BBC at charity event: ‘I didn’t foresee my sacking’

Next week Lord Hall will read the BBC’s report into Jeremy Clarkson’s suspension from Top Gear and make a decision about Clarkson’s future. In light of this, Clarkson may well live to regret his night out at the Roundhouse gala. Mr S was a guest at last night’s charity fundraiser and witnessed Clarkson launching a foul-mouthed attack on the BBC over his alleged ‘fracas’ with a producer. The presenter got on stage at the glitzy bash and told the audience that the BBC were ‘f—ing b—–ds’, adding that by suspending him they had ‘f—ed themselves’. The comments came as Clarkson raised £100,000 for the arts charity, which helps young people in the creative industries, by offering attendees the chance to join

Thursday

The Spectator

How weird is it to have a second kitchen?

Cooking statistics Ed Miliband was photographed in a miserable kitchen, but it turned out to be only a snack preparation room which he has in addition to a large kitchen downstairs. What is the state of the nation’s kitchens? — The average size in England, according to official data, is 11 square metres. Five per cent of homes have a kitchen smaller than five square metres and 17 per cent have kitchens large than 15 square metres. Some 13 per cent have, like Ed’s, a separate utility room or second kitchen. — 955,000 English homes are estimated to have a hygiene problem, and in 4 per cent of these the cleanability of

India Knight

This terrifying book puts me off going online ever again —except maybe to Ocado — says India Knight

Jeremy Clarkson has been getting it in the neck from Twitter’s (I was going to say) tricoteuses — but social media is both thicko mob and gleeful, literal-minded public executioner. A couple of weeks ago it was George Galloway; and the week before that — oh, I can’t remember. I had a theory about 21st-century shame before I read Jon Ronson’s book — namely that it passes quickly. A Profumo would atone for a lifetime; a Huhne leaves jail to book deals and newspaper columns. The internet fire burns more intensely but turns to ashes faster. Yeesh, was I wrong. Ronson thinks it all started well. He writes approvingly of

Tuesday

Steerpike

Michael Dugher blasts Jeremy Clarkson following Top Gear incident

David Cameron came out in support for his old chum Jeremy Clarkson last week after he was suspended from Top Gear for allegedly punching a producer. Members of the opposition, however, appear to be in a less forgiving mood. Speaking at the LabourList pre-election conference, Michael Dugher criticised Clarkson for his actions saying that the idea that he could return to the BBC belongs in the ‘stone age’. ‘When you look at it, there’s a consistent pattern of pretty obnoxious, racist behaviour,’ the Labour MP said. He added that to call Clarkson a mere ‘idiot’ would be a compliment. This is not the first time that the shadow transport secretary has laid into the presenter. Last month, after Dugher