Football

The Decline and Fall of English Football Managers

Sir Bobby Robson’s death yesterday left one wondering just what has happened to English football management. Or, to be more precise, what has happened to English football managers? Of the top ten sides in last year’s Premiership just two – Fulham and Tottenham – were led by Englishmen and in the last 25 years Howard Kendall (Everton) and Howard Wilkinson (Leeds) have been the only Englishmen to helm Championship winning sides. What happened? True, Alex Ferguson has had a lot to do with this, while Arsene Wenger’s residency at Arsenal has prevented another of the top jobs from coming open. Equally, Chelsea’s desire for superstars with a europe-wide reputation doubtless

The Never-Ending Neoconservative War on Soccer

Long-time readers may recall that one of this blog’s minor amusements is chronicling the ridiculous extent to which some Americans – mainly, it must be said, on the right – go in their efforts to decry the baleful influence of soccer upon the American ideals of manly sporting excellence. There was, for instance, this example in March, complaining about the insidious impact soccer was having on the culture of suburban America. Now, in the aftermath of the United States’ surprising victory* against Spain this week, Gary Schmitt, once of the Project for a New American Century and now residing at the American Enterprise Institute, complains that: As someone who didn’t

Champions League Final

Like any sensible person, I shall be supporting Barcelona this evening, even if that does also require one to endorse the insufferable Thierry Henry. Nonetheless, give me wee Lionel Messi over Christiano Ronaldo any and every day. Alas, I fear the worst and suspect that Manchester United will prevail and that they may do so more comfortably than might be expected. Not that I have too much against United, even if Sir Alex Ferguson did once, inexplicably, scoff at my suggestion* that he could only further secure “legend” status by returning to Scotland and guiding Heart of Midlothian to their first league championship since 1960. Anyway, consider this an open

Alex Massie

The worst team in Europe?

Are Paris Saint-Germain the worst football team in Europe? This obviously depends upon how one measures or defines “worst”. PSG, despite another appalling season, would (thankfully) still be expected to defeat, say, Shamrock Rovers. But in a pound-for-pound sense is there a more pathetic club in europe? I’s not just that they only narrowly avoided relegation this season, it’s that they continue to squander resources. Even when they were owned by Canal Plus, PSG under-performed. Indeed, since the club was formed in 1970 they’ve only won the French championship twice (in 1986 and 1994), despite being one of the richest clubs in France and the only major club in Paris.

Visca Barca!

Jim Henley had a great post a while back naming names and shaming those people who blog too much. As Jim rightly put it, these days you need to be a professional blog reader just to keep up. On the other hand, there are those people who don’t blog nearly enough. My friend Kerry Howley is one. Blimpish is another. And so is James Hamilton, whose More than Mind Games has been in a kind of extended winter break for some time. Happily, however, there are signs of the green shoots of bloggy recovery. Happily James is back to remind us how grateful we should be that Barcelona did the

No longer beautiful

To some it might seem unbelievable that a goal scored at a football match at Anfield between Arsenal and Liverpool 20 years ago could be the event around which anyone could write an entire book. But this is exactly what Jason Cowley has done. Despite a childhood spent in the East End, and with a West Ham- supporting father, the author has been, from an early age, an avid Arsenal fan and wears his Arsenal shirt under his jacket when standing with his father at Upton Park. This book is certainly not just for Arsenal or Liverpool fans but for all who want to reflect on the huge changes which

World’s Worst Bankers Elimination Match

So, Scotland host Iceland tonight in the latest “crucial” World Cup qualifier. The loser will have almost no chance of making it to South Africa so tonight’s tussle is effectively an elimination contest. Just as importantly, the losers will assume the official, undisputed title of Worlds’ Worst Bankers. The Scotsman’s David Maddox runs through the line-ups here. Given the importance of the occasion it was reasuring to see the Scotland skipper prepare for the match in traditional style  – by getting bladdered in what the Daily Record called a “marathon booze session” after the team returned to their Loch Lomond HQ following Saturday’s 3-0 drubbing by the Dutch. Anyway, consider

America’s Crazy War on Soccer

I’m guessing that we’ll know Barack Obama’s plan to turn the United States of America into a european socialist hellhole will be complete when he comes out as a soccer fan. Here’s Stephen H Webb in First Things: The real tragedy is that soccer is a foreign invasion, but it is not a plot to overthrow America. For those inclined toward paranoia, it would be easy to blame soccer’s success on the political left, which, after all, worked for years to bring European decadence and despair to America. The left tried to make existentialism, Marxism, post-structuralism, and deconstructionism fashionable in order to weaken the clarity, pragmatism, and drive of American

Annals of Punditry

Lord knows, we all blunder from time to time. Still, this is pretty impressive: “Each year, in my last Economic View before Christmas, I try to shed some light on economic events of the previous 12 months by comparing what has actually happened with expectations published here in early January. This year, even more than usual, reading back through January’s predictions has been a shock. Almost all have turned out to be wrong”. Anatole Kaletsky, The Times, 18/12/06.“My last article of every year looks back on the predictions I made in early January to shed some light on the economic and financial events of the previous 12 months. This tends

Iran-Iraq War Replayed in Glasgow

Anyone whose had to spend much time in the company of Scottish football journalists and members of the Scottish Parliament could only hope that a “charity” football match between the two groups could end in serious injury, fiasco and with both sides losing. In that last sense, then, it’s just like the Iran-Iraq war. Happily, in a story I missed earlier this week, this seems to have been the case. More or less. A football match between politicians and journalists was called off after tempers boiled over, it has emerged. The match was stopped after 55 minutes following a number of contentious challenges between the MSPs and the sports journalists

Taxpayers’ Fantasy Football

Small guest-posting at The Plank on taxpayers’ football. We have Newcastle United and Northern Rock, the Americans get AIG and Manchester United. Sums up the “Special Relationship”, you might say… [Link corrected. Thanks NDM]

Capello’s Common Sense

More evidence emerges that England selected the right man when they asked Fabio Capello to rescue their football team. From the Times today: On another issue – Wayne Rooney’s smoking habit – Capello was curiously indifferent, a stance that brought out sweat beads on the foreheads of his FA employers, fearful of their manager unwittingly being cast as the spokesman for a generation of English butt-heads. Capello later returned to clarify his position and the moral guardians were headed off at the pass… Capello’s lack of interest in making a judgment revealed that the difference between football people in Europe and Britain is not merely a matter of tactics or

FBK Kaunas 2 Rangers 1

There’s no need for the Scottish football league to kick-off on Saturday. Cancel it. The season can’t* get better or more more amusing than this. *OK, it can. It would be too perfect, even too much to hope for, if Celtic were also turfed out of europe in their first match. Ah, sweet, sweet schadenfreude how I love you so…

Footballing Question of the Day

James Hamilton from the superb (if infuriatingly-often-on-hiatus) football blog More than Mind Games has a question that merits pondering: If you had to name one player who, in your opinion, epitomised the history of English football (not necessarily its ethos or its greatest moment or its values), who would that be? He doesn’t have to be English, but he does have to exemplify the way the game has developed in England. Good question! One that will take time to answer. In the same vein, then, using the same rules, which player could most reasonably be considered the epitomy of Scottish football? Or Italian?

Alex Massie

The stars were bright, Fernando…

Memo to the Associated Press and the New York Times: describing Fernando Torres as a “slumping striker” and claiming that he had “been invisible in this tournament” makes you look like a bunch of chumps. Better, you know, to say nothing than expose yourselves in this fashion*. Anyway, having written this genially mean-spirited blast against the Germans, I’m obviously delighted that Spain triumphed. For once the best team won and now, of all the “major” european powers it’s England that have gone the longest without hauling in a significant trophy… *This sort of ignorance, of course, infuriates American soccer fans who do know their stuff, appreciating, like, that goals aren’t

Always the Germans…

The New Republic, America’s most football-friendly political magazine, asked me to write something mean about the Germans: Today’s question then, is: Does Germany’s record in international soccer confirm: (a) the absence of God, (b) the capriciousness of justice, or (c) the futility of romance? Or: (d) all of the above? Full piece here. Prieviously, in a more generous mood, I defended David Beckham for TNR here.

Annals of Punditry | 7 June 2008

Euro 2008 starts today and happily we’re spared the agony of watching Scotland play. The BBC are doing their best to persuade us that even a tournament “without England” might be worth watching even though most sentient people appreciate that England’s failure to qualify actually enhances the tournament, especially for the TV viewer who might have an increased chance of intelligent, astute, imaginative, perceptive TV coverage. Not so fast my friends! Here’s the BBC’s Gary Lineker explaining why he thinks Spain can win the tournament: It is open, but I am going for those perennial underachievers in Spain…the feeling is that [the] team chokes, but they have done well in

Bring Me the Head of…Michael Ballack

Even I, a fan of robust tabloid journalism, have to wonder if this might be going just a little bit far… The Guardian reports: Poland’s national football coach apologised yesterday after a tabloid newspaper ran a gruesome depiction of him holding the severed heads of Germany’s national trainer and team captain and demanded he slaughter them at the forthcoming Euro 2008 championships. The photomontage in Super Express of Poland’s Dutch coach, Leo Beenhakker, clutching the bloodied heads of Michael Ballack and Joachim Löw provoked outrage in Germany and threatened to overshadow the match between the two group B teams on Sunday. The picture ran alongside the caption: “Leo, Give us

The Most Preposterous Thing I’ve Read All Week…

And amazingly, it has nothing to do with Hillary Clinton. No, it’s Rangers’ Christian Dailly who, having seen the referee keep the Ibrox club’s SPL title ambitions alive yesterday had the effrontery, the gall, the unmitigated audacity to claim: that since arriving at Ibrox in January he has formed the impression that Rangers are more often on the wrong end of decisions. “There have been lots of decisions not given that should have been given in our favour,” he said. “It looks like a couple went our way today, but that is not the norm.” Words fail me. American readers may consider that this is akin to Michael Jordan complaining

A Tartan Army Polka

Ah, apparently we’re supporting Poland this summer. Good to get that decided early. AFTER 10 years of being unable to cheer on their favourites at the finals of a big football tournament, the Tartan Army is switching sides to back Poland at this summer’s European championships. The supporters’ organisation – with 1,500 members and dozens of branches in the country – has thrown its weight behind the eastern European side after all the home nations were knocked out of the competition. Since 2004, more than 40,000 Poles have come to Scotland and the Tartan Army foot soldiers have vowed to show solidarity with their new neighbours. Pubs and restaurants in