Bbc

Thursday

Rod Liddle

The questions you don’t ask at the BBC

There was a remarkable scene in one BBC Today programme morning meeting in about 1995, as all the producers gathered together to discuss what stories would be on the following day’s show. The big story was the European Union; the splits occasioned by the EU within the Tory party and the battle, on the part of racist neanderthal xenophobes, to keep us out of the Exchange Rate Mechanism, from which we had ignominiously exited three years before. The meeting cackled and hooted at the likes of Bill Cash and his assorted fascists on the Eurosceptic right. ‘They think the Germans are determined to dominate Europe!’ and ‘They’re just racists!’ and

Tuesday

Steerpike

Rachel Johnson lifts the lid on Newsnight

Rachel Johnson has never been shy of using her Notting Hill neighbours as a source of ‘inspiration’ for her series of chick-lit Notting Hell books. Her latest book Fresh Hell is no exception. It follows a character rallying against a major basement conversion in a storyline not dissimilar to Johnson’s own efforts to oppose her neighbour’s plans for such underground developments. However, another plotline in the book has caught Mr S’s eye. The novel follows Notting Hill journalist Mimi going on Newsnight – the current affairs programme which Johnson has appeared on in the past – to name and shame her basement digging neighbour. In the book, Newsnight is edited by a man called Josh Kurtz, whose name bears some resemblance to

Thursday

James Walton

Bad robots

You’d think scientists might have realised by now that creating a race of super-robots is about as wise as opening a dinosaur park. Yet in Channel 4’s new sci-fi series Humans (Sunday), the manufacturers of the extremely lifelike cyber-servants known as ‘synths’ were weirdly confident that nothing could go wrong. Nor did it cross their minds that the synths — programmed only to do whatever their owners told them — could possibly develop their own thoughts and emotions… Still, if its premise is almost heroically unoriginal, Humans does look as if it’ll be giving the social, scientific and philosophical implications of advanced artificial intelligence an impressively thorough airing. And, because

Rod Liddle Rod Liddle

Is suicide bombing now a Yorkshire tradition?

Where would you rather live, Dewsbury or Bradford? I ask because it seems that there are probably some good property deals to be had in this particular corner of West Yorkshire right now, as a consequence of half the population decamping to Syria in order to blow themselves up. I mean, property was pretty cheap already — in Savile Town, Dewsbury, right in the heart of the Muslim ghetto, you can buy a nice grey stone cottage for not much more than fifty grand. Two beds, back yard, only a stone’s throw from the local sharia court and that vast mosque run by those jovial extremists Tablighi Jamaat. But it’ll be

Wednesday

Steerpike

Coffee Shots: Jeremy Clarkson is back on the BBC

Last night Chris Evans was announced as Jeremy Clarkson’s Top Gear successor, following Clarkson’s fracas with a BBC producer. However, this doesn’t mean Clarkson won’t be appearing on the BBC anytime soon. In fact, despite previously calling those at the corporation ‘f—ing b—–ds’, Clarkson has already made a star appearance on BBC2 this lunchtime as part of their tennis coverage. Clearly not too downhearted by Evans’ appointment, the former Top Gear presenter decided to use his free time to take in some tennis at Queen’s. This led to some scintillating commentary from the BBC tennis pundits as they tried to avoid the topic of Clarkson’s untimely departure: Andrew Cotter: Big names here

Tuesday

Steerpike

Chris Evans performs U-turn over Top Gear job

After Jeremy Clarkson was suspended from Top Gear following a fracas with a show producer, reports soon emerged claiming Chris Evans would be his replacement. However, the radio host was quick to ‘categorically’ deny these reports: While Mr S had been more than happy to ‘discount’ his candidacy, it turns out that Evans should really never say never. The BBC have announced today that Evans is in fact Clarkson’s successor. He confirmed the news in a statement: ‘I’m thrilled, Top Gear is my favourite programme of all time. Created by a host of brilliant minds who love cars and understand how to make the massively complicated come across as fun, devil-may-care and effortless. When in fact of

Monday

Steerpike

Jeremy Clarkson returns to the BBC to work on Top Gear

After Jeremy Clarkson was suspended by the BBC over an alleged fracas with a Top Gear producer, the presenter got on stage at a charity bash and told the audience that the BBC were ‘f—ing b—–ds’. Clarkson was later sacked and the corporation went to such lengths to erase the memory of the presenter from their channels that they pixelated his face in an episode of W1A. So Mr S was glad to hear that relations are now more amiable. The BBC have confirmed reports today that Clarkson recently undertook new work for the BBC, recording a voiceover for a final Top Gear special: ‘He has done the voiceover for Top Gear. He came

Friday

Steerpike

Ed Vaizey offers the BBC a survival tip

Given that John Whittingdale once described the licence fee as ‘worse than the poll tax’, the BBC were reported to be less than thrilled when David Cameron appointed the Tory MP as Culture Secretary ahead of the corporation’s charter renewal next year. However, should the BBC be concerned about the impending decision, culture minister Ed Vaizey has at least offered an early pointer about the type of programmes the corporation ought to be commissioning. Vaizey took to Twitter to praise his old chum Andrew Roberts on his Napoleon documentary for the BBC. He says that it is ‘just the kind of programme’ the BBC ‘should be making’: Furthermore, the ‘great review’ he links to is written by none other than

Thursday

James Delingpole

Pet rescue

I adore Andrew Roberts. We go back a long way. Once, on a boating expedition gone wrong in the south of France, we had a bonding moment almost Brokeback Mountain-esque in its bromantic intensity. Roberts had hired an expensive speedboat for the day (as Andrew Roberts would) and we’d left very little time to get it back to harbour and avoid being stung for a massive surcharge. Problem was, the seas had got very rough and our anchor was stuck fast. We manoeuvred the boat this way and that to no avail. There was nothing for it. Someone would have to dive down to free it. It wasn’t easy. The

Kate Chisholm

Evan sent

Evan Davis’s series on business life, The Bottom Line (made in conjunction with the Open University), has become one of those Radio 4 staples, something that’s just there in the schedule and all too easily taken for granted. Productivity, contracts and contacts, the new appreneurs (creators and sellers of apps) are not subjects I feel the need to know very much about and the business pages of the newspaper usually get sent straight out for recycling. But Evan always draws me in and keeps me listening because of his enthusiasm, his ability to make even the mundane aspects of manufacturing sound fascinating, and his skill at drawing people out, employing

Thursday

Kate Chisholm

There will be blood | 4 June 2015

If you’re in the least bit squeamish you’d better stop reading now. What follows is not for those who blanch at Casualty and come over all faint at the sight of blood. I’m told it’s a first for radio — following an operation in real time and going right inside the experience. It began at breakfast time on Tuesday on Radio Five Live as we listened to Stephen, a patient at Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham. He’d woken up at 3 a.m. to hear one of the nurses clip-clopping down the corridor towards him. She’d come to tell him that at last they’d found a heart which they hoped would

James Walton

Are you being funny?

Monday saw the return of possibly the weirdest TV series in living memory. Imagine a parallel universe in which Are You Being Served? had starred Laurence Olivier, John Gielgud and Janet Suzman, and you might get some idea of what ITV’s Vicious is like. Alternatively, I suppose, you could just watch the thing and realise that no, you’re not drunk — you really are seeing Derek Jacobi, Ian McKellen and Frances de la Tour acting their socks off in a sitcom that would have been considered rather creaky in 1975. Jacobi and McKellen play Stuart and Freddie: a pair of gay actors who’ve been living together for decades despite the

Wednesday

Steerpike

Report by BBC journalist that the Queen is in hospital just a ‘silly prank’

Given that the Queen looked in such good health last week during her speech, Mr S was surprised to hear ‘breaking’ news that she was being treated in hospital this morning. The BBC journalist Ahmen Khawaja took to Twitter to tell her followers exactly that. However, Buckingham Palace has since confirmed that the Queen was in hospital, but just for her ‘annual medical check-up’. Khawaja has now deleted her tweets: Yet now – after several users criticised her – she has changed her story and claimed her phone was used by someone else as a prank: All very curious indeed. Mr S is just pleased to hear the Queen is ok, despite the BBC’s best efforts. Update:

Tuesday

Steerpike

BBC sent Robert Peston on course to ‘iron out his eccentricities’

With the BBC up for charter renewal next year, increasing attention is being paid to the manner in which the corporation conducts itself. Things weren’t helped last week when a BBC historian claimed that Lord Howard, the chairman of the BBC governors from 1980-83, paid for a prostitute on the Orient Express with an expenses claim. Now Robert Peston says that the BBC splashed out on a team of specialists to help him overcome his ‘eccentricities’ when he joined the corporation. ‘They sent me off for training to iron out my eccentricities,’ he tells the Radio Times. Alas, for both Peston and the licence fee payer footing the bill, the experts ‘failed completely’:

Sunday

Christopher Snowdon

The BBC swallows more fanatical nonsense from Action on Sugar

Action on Sugar, the bastard offspring of Consensus Action on Salt, has noticed that dried fruit contains sugar. As with every utterance from the pressure group, the BBC thinks this is newsworthy. Based on an unpublished undergraduate research project, Action on Sugar says that 85 per cent of fruit snacks’ contain more sugar than 100 grammes of Haribo sweets – ‘with some containing over 4 teaspoons of sugar!’, as the excitable press release proclaims. In these intellectually stunted times, a teaspoon of sugar is rapidly becoming a unit of harm that requires no further explanation. To be clear, a teaspoon of sugar only contains 16 calories. As an adult male, I

Friday

Steerpike

Alex Salmond knows all about the art of politics

‘The art of politics is not to lie,’ claimed Alex Salmond on last night’s This Week. A noble sentiment for sure, but Mr S feels it’s his duty to remind readers of a story that broke in October 2013. The Telegraph reported that ‘Alex Salmond spent almost £20,000 of taxpayers’ money to keep secret legal advice about an independent Scotland’s EU status that never even existed’. Although Salmond suggested in a television interview that he had received advice from Scottish Government law officers on the matter, it later transpired that ‘no specific legal advice’ existed. Shall we just leave it at that?

Thursday

James Delingpole

Living history

It has been a while since the BBC really pushed the boat out on the epic history documentary front. Perhaps to make amends it is treating us to possibly the most historian-studded, blue-screen-special-effects-enhanced, rare-documentastic, no-hyperbole-knowingly-under-employed series ever shown on television. Armada: 12 Days to Save England (Sundays, BBC2). Having clearly spent a lot of money here, the BBC is taking no chances with its demographic spread. For the laydeez, in the Ross Poldark role it has Dan Snow, captured somewhat gratuitously piloting his handsome yacht into the choppy waters of the English Channel. (Just like in 1588! Sort of.) For the dirty old men it has no fewer than three

Wednesday

Melanie McDonagh

Pope Francis is right to avoid television. It’s the dumbest medium known to man

Unlike Pope Francis I can’t actually remember when I consciously gave up television and I have in fact watched it occasionally in other people’s houses on various occasions. But it was probably at least as long ago as he, twenty odd years ago. When I went to university there wasn’t a television in our room and there was an awful lot going on; fun stuff, more fun than looking at a screen. And at that point I broke the habit. It’s a bit like giving up sugar in your tea for Lent: the first time is awful; by the next Lent it’s easier; by the end, it’s normal. And so, term by term,

Tuesday

Steerpike

Alan Yentob admits he inspired W1A bicycle plotline

With the BBC’s self satire W1A proving to be one of the corporation’s most popular shows, much has been made of whether the comedy is too close for comfort given that they are up for charter renewal next year. Indeed Alan Yentob was mocked in March after he was photographed with a bike which bore a striking resemblance to the one owned by Ian Fletcher – Hugh Bonneville’s fictional BBC ‘Head of Values’ character. Then, in the most recent episode, Fletcher sported a newer model of fold-up bike, which bore an even closer likeness to Yentob’s own £1,000 Brompton bike. When Mr S caught up with Yentob at the annual GQ and Land Rover

Thursday

James Walton

Strange ways

BBC One’s 2015 choice of Sunday-night drama series is beginning to resemble the career of the kind of Hollywood actor who alternates between reliable crowd-pleasers and more eccentric personal projects. The year started with the return of the much-loved Last Tango in Halifax, followed by the distinctly peculiar A Casual Vacancy. Now, after the mainstream triumph of Poldark, we get Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell — which, whatever else you might think about it, definitely can’t be accused of feeling like drama by committee. Based on Susanna Clarke’s 2004 novel, the programme opened in the early 19th century, with the Peninsular War going badly and, worse still, magic — once