Completely self-made
‘Completely self-made — he sells lateral flow tests on eBay.’
More cartoons
Thursday
I only come here because it’s nice
‘I only come here because it’s nice and quiet to listen to podcasts.’
Calm before the storm
We’ve found traces of river in the sewage
‘We’ve found traces of river in the sewage.’
Thursday
The world ended and only we survived
‘So, the world ended and only we survived. Oh — and him.’
Never a policeman around
‘There’s never a policeman around when you want one.’
I’m taking you to Kyiv
Partygate probe
‘Is this a good time?’
The price of tongue of dog has tumbled
‘One bit of good news — the price of tongue of dog has tumbled.’
Still bitter
‘I’m still bitter about my funeral.’
We’d love a good war right now
7 per cent more expensive
‘Can you please stop being 7 per cent more expensive than you were last year?’
The property ladder
‘It’s the property ladder.’
I don’t want you to read me a story!
‘I don’t want you to read me a story! I want the Duchess of Cambridge to.’
I suppose it was just a question of time…
‘I suppose it was just a question of time...there’s now an Olivia Colman channel.’
Thursday
Dear Boris, you must feel terribly isolated
‘Dear Boris, you must feel terribly isolated...’
