Dear Mary

Dear Mary | 25 April 2013

Q. Last week on a plane from Heathrow I sat next to a very attractive man. We started talking and I could tell he liked me too. Unfortunately, although we established that we both live in London, the flight was not quite long enough to warrant an exchange of telephone numbers. Unfortunately he lives in

Dear Mary | 18 April 2013

Q. I live in Bombay and seem to attract a large number of house guests, notably friends’ daughters on their gap year. I am lucky in having an excellent maid and driver who go out of their way to take them around town, feed them up and do what they call ‘madam duty’, which is

Dear Mary | 11 April 2013

Q. How to stop parents chatting throughout school chapel services? Your advice to the organist at the leading public school will not work. I know because my son attends just such a school and services like confirmations and carol concerts are recorded. The parents are reminded that this will be happening but it does not

Dear Mary | 4 April 2013

Q. My mother lives in a fine old house in Jersey and has a lovely garden. Unfortunately her Portuguese gardener has contrived to make the place look as though it belongs to the seafront in Llandudno. He has placed a large plastic owl on top of a bush in the centre of what was once

Dear Mary | 28 March 2013

Q. We entertain a lot and are used to coping with requests from guests who are vegetarian or have an allergy, etc. However, recently a guest replied that he would like to attend a dinner (given to enable discussion of a political matter) and he would like to eat either a 600g salmon steak or

Dear Mary | 21 March 2013

Q. I am the organist at a leading public school. We work hard to ensure that the boys are quiet and respectful in Chapel, which they attend every day. The behaviour of their parents, however, when they come for confirmation and carol services is appalling. They talk through the hymns, they talk through the anthem,

Dear Mary | 14 March 2013

Q. My mother has had a minor physical setback which means it is currently too difficult for her to go out and see people. People consequently come to her, which is wonderful, but because she is so popular, they come in their hordes. It is not so much the provision of food and drinks which

Dear Mary | 7 March 2013

Q. Every morning I walk to work and stop to pick up a cappuccino from a local café outside which is invariably sitting a (handsome) man, alone apart from his dog, having breakfast. We always say hello and I sense that he likes at least the look of me, but there is no opportunity to

Dear Mary | 28 February 2013

Q. I would like to return the hospitality of a senior member of the royal family but my wife insists that an invitation is not expected and would only embarrass as we could not match the standards. Meanwhile I have heard that a friend of a friend of a friend has had this senior royal

Dear Mary | 21 February 2013

Q. A friend, well known for having a dusty wallet, brought a bottle of champagne to our house. We were pleasantly surprised but, though it looked exactly like a real bottle of Oudinot Epernay, it did not feel quite heavy enough. On closer inspection, we saw that our friend had somehow picked up an empty

Dear Mary | 14 February 2013

Q.  My husband, aged 56, mutters constantly that he is not well.  He has a variety of symptoms and I suspect hypochondria, yet he will not put his mind (or mine) at rest by making an appointment with a doctor.  How can I make this happen? — A.O.T., London SW11 A. The way to make

Dear Mary | 7 February 2013

Q. I understand that a free version of Eton will be opening in a village near Windsor next year. One of my boys is already at School, but for financial reasons I would like to get him moved across if the educational and aspirational standards at Freeton are the same. How do I get his

Dear Mary | 31 January 2013

Q. Having recently relocated to my company’s Russian office, I now report to an uncouth Homo sovieticus. Knowing he’s the product of a society that had no time for so-called ‘bourgeois niceties’, I try not to judge when he slurps or speaks with his mouth full or places his knife and fork away from himself

Dear Mary | 24 January 2013

Q. My husband uses a wheelchair at airports all over the world but I find it very difficult to know when, and how much, to give the kind attendants. One man happily pocketed ten euros at Amsterdam last month, while another (a woman) refused to take anything at all. I believe it is standard to

Dear Mary | 17 January 2013

Q. I worked on the features desk of a newspaper for many years and had a desk in an office with dozens of colleagues around me every day. Now I freelance from home and do not meet any men — let alone other women. Mary, I do not fancy internet dating but what is your

Dear Mary | 10 January 2013

Q. Just before Christmas I ran into a senior executive at a rival firm to the one where I currently work. She asked would I be interested in a job she thought she might have coming up and I said yes. I have heard nothing and I cannot casually inquire when bumping into her as,

Dear Mary | 3 January 2013

Q. I have had the misfortune to have broken my foot and was packed off by my GP to a clinic in Vincent Square for an X-ray. The male receptionist kindly arranged a taxi and gave me £2 when I told him I might be just short of the fare. I assured him that I

Dear Mary | 28 December 2012

From Francis Boulle At a recent speaking engagement at a school fundraiser I had the eerie experience of giving my speech to an auditorium of 300 young men wearing cut-out masks of my face. Whilst the trouble they went to was flattering, it was difficult to remain on message when I couldn’t help but feel

Dear Mary | 12 December 2012

Once again Mary has invited some of her favourite figures in the public eye to submit personal queries for her attention. From Plum Sykes Q. I have always given Christmas presents to all my five siblings and their children. Just to put you in the picture, the presents are at the Ralph Lauren cashmere sweater

Dear Mary | 6 December 2012

Q. I disagree with your advice to A.B. (8 September) about enlisting a restaurant management’s support to go on smoking his cigar despite the displeasure of the nearby patrons. We can assume that they booked in the garden because they liked the fresh air. The etiquette for any cigar smoker has always been to ask