The Battle for Britain – 24 August 2017

‘I’m looking for Mr Alt-Right.’
‘The beer costs the same – we just don’t talk about Trump.’
‘All our ambulance crews are busy at the moment but please stay on the line — your heart attack is important to us.’
‘I hear tensions are running pretty high in Cromer tonight.’
‘Your billing address — is that the same as your cooing address?’
‘What was your favourite Robert Peston moment?’
‘It’s nice to get away from all the abuse on Twitter.’
‘I hear the streets are paved with gum.’
Trans sister radio
‘My name’s Captain Haddock. I’m a famous alcoholic.’
‘If you’re a private patient, you’ll probably want to smile as you go through the scanner.’