Clegg the martyr

‘Remember when there used to be days, weeks when everything was full price…’

‘Could I give you one of my “How to understand computers” business cards, Miss?’

‘You can see he’s had a deprived childhood. Just look at the way he holds his knife.’

‘It all started when he was advised by the doctor to wear a corset to relieve his chronic back pain.’

‘I have a problem with fidelity, according to all my other shrinks.’