The doom delusion

‘Fair’s fair – they get the minimum wage, we get the max.’

‘That’s all the sport for now — time to catch up on the news.’

‘I wanted to climb up the spout but the Labour party’s up there.’

‘I guess, when this was built, that was gender-specific enough.’

‘How much web traffic do you generate?’

‘I thought I’d left home with my fold-up bike.’

‘Darling, I was busy running the country. No, honestly, it’s true. Please believe me and unlock the door…’

‘I’ve invented the product recall.’

Britain’s most decorated Olympians

‘Sorry about the plates — we’re right out of wood and slate.’

Cartoons