Dave – 17 October 2013

‘Three bills and a sample of shampoo — you’ll have to do better than this now I’m a shareholder.’
‘Is everything OK?’
‘She’s alright but he’s a funny bugger.’
‘...I’ve known quicker quicksands...’
‘I won’t believe he’s a terrorist until he starts reading the Guardian.’
‘I’m game if you are.’
Modern wardrobe malfunction
‘Luckily, we’ll all be wearing hi-viz jackets.’
‘The foxes round here are so urban that they go to the country at weekends.’