Dave – 16 May 2013
Cartoons
News
‘I hate 24-hour news.’
Shopping
‘Mum moved into the village and there are already problems: she’s too busy to babysit.’
Eurovision
‘I demand a yes/no referendum.’
Ukip 3
‘I know it’s unhealthy, but I just can’t give up voting Ukip.’
Lions
‘We’re not “in the jungle, the mighty jungle” and we’re not “sleeping tonight”, so please stop singing that song.’
Flies
‘Flies?’
Vampire
‘You can tell your friends at Ukip that this has nothing to do with him coming from Eastern Europe.’
Intimacy
‘Too much Facebook, I think — I can’t be intimate in private any more.’
Annoyance
‘I’m going to have to ask you to leave, Sir. Your constant complaining about mobile phones is disturbing the other customers.’
Snake
‘I’m tempted by the apple.’
Yewtree
‘In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes — and then arrested.’
Tweet 4
‘So, what’s new since your tweet 20 seconds ago?’
Breakup 2
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