Waterstones
‘We decided to focus on coffee.’
Cartoons
Rhymes
‘... for today’s the day the teddy bears order pizza ’n large fries and stay in to play computer games.’
Myth 2
'I think this dispels the myth that they never reached old age.'
Beagle
‘He was a smoking beagle. Can he have a last cigarette?’
Phones
‘Everyone’s viral for 15 minutes.’
Wheel 4
'Oh no! Someone's stolen the wheel.'
Roadshow
'How much did you pay for it?'
Hipster
'Let’s go somewhere else — this place has turned into a hipster hangout.'
Mother 3
'It's another of those extremely obscene and threatening phone calls. Do something — she’s your mother.'
Looks Familiar
'Looks familiar — was he on "I'm a Celebrity", "Big Brother" or "Strictly"?'
Bears 4
'Oh, just the usual Nordic noir: a seemingly run-of-the-mill porridge theft leads to the discovery of a serial killing, people trafficking, drug dealing, paedophile conspiracy.'
Parrot
'You'd better go, he'll be home soon ... you’d better...'
Witch 5
‘I won’t believe you’re innocent until you’ve been accused by Tom Watson.’
Party 4
‘Please like me and share me.’
Party 3
'Sigh. One of these days we'll come home to find they've had a wild party.'