Cartoons
Horses 2
‘I expect they’ll turn him into lasagne.’
Snapchat
‘They used to hit each other, now they just Snapchat.’
Fifty Shades
‘It’s so I don’t have to watch Fifty Shades of Grey.’
Fool
‘A word of warning: he doesn’t suffer fools gladly.’
Catastrophe
‘Shouldn’t there be a catastrophe in that sentence?’
Results
‘My results have come back. It’s bad news.’
Bravery
‘...goes to Jack Benson, who, without provocation, turned off his mobile for 24 hours.’
Balls 3
‘Taxi for somebody!’
Boss
‘We will of course keep you fully uninformed.’
Obesity 4
‘Here you are, dear — it’s to celebrate your obesity levels levelling off.’
Babies 2
‘I’ve seen them trying to make one on the internet…’