Cartoons
Blood-coloured carpets
‘Blood-coloured carpets would be practical.’
If it’s Harry I’m in a meeting
‘If it’s Harry I’m in a meeting.’
We met on the internet
‘We met on the internet.’
Dr. Seuss is too offensive
‘Dr Seuss is too offensive — so I’ll read you the Chips Channon diaries.’
Gone a little too far
‘I’m beginning to think our diversity policy has gone a little too far.’
Support from the palace
‘I must admit, I thought I could have had more support from the palace.’
I think your father’s hoping
‘I think your father’s hoping he’ll never have to hug anyone again.’
Increase of 1 per cent
‘That’s disappointing — I was expecting an increase of 1 per cent.’
I can remember exactly what I was doing
‘I can remember exactly what I was doing this time last year.’