Glasses
‘Now, where did I put my glasses?’
‘Now, where did I put my glasses?’
‘What an amazing spectacle! Cyclists not on the pavement!’
‘Not another old episode of Jihad’s Army?!’
‘Modern audiences don’t just sit and watch — we interact and post live comments.’
‘I’ll say this for heather, it’s very moorish.’
‘Does sir dress to the left or to the right?’
‘We have recently changed our intern selection process. Could you now please place the baby rabbit you’re holding on to your heads.’
‘Remind me again how poor we want them to be…’
‘We had to use the naughty step — she maxed out her credit card again.’
‘An impressive CV and confident interview — all rather let down by your inability to adjust your chair.’
Shelfies
‘Thank God, you’re just my wife’s lover. I thought you were the Inland Revenue!’
‘I was like, yay!’